NTBF: C05

Chapter: 5 | Chapter Five

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Chapter Five

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This novel was posted on cntranslationss [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)

_{"Again, with this kind of attitude." Lee complained. "Every time you cause trouble, I'm the one who had to clean up the pieces! If it weren't for me, sticking my head out and bearing it all for your sake, would you still be able to be sitting here without a strand of your hair being touched? And you don't even have the presence of mind to tell me, thanks."}
Whenever my frame of mind isn't good, the most immediate method I have to treat it, is to degenerate—to drown (whether or not that meant using poison to quench my thirst, I did not care). So for the past few days I've been drowning—drowning at the kind of place requiring a high-level membership card being the one I had chosen. Cards, for such places, all given to me by Lee to use, as Lee knew I was this sort of vulgar person, with a low sense of taste who only knew to pick the most expensive thing to consume. Seems like the more pleasurable something is, the more zeros they have, so in that case, maybe piling up more of them will be able to raise my own self worth.

"Again, with this kind of attitude." Lee complained. "Every time you cause trouble, I'm the one who had to clean up the pieces! If it weren't for me, sticking my head out and bearing it all for your sake, would you still be able to be sitting here without a strand of your hair being touched? And you don't even have the presence of mind to tell me, thanks."

_{I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!}◈◇◈

I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!

_{You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?}I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?

_{After a couple of days had passed, Lee came to find me. As soon as I opened the door, a grim expression met me: "Xiao Jing, why did you do something like that to Eric? Does he seem like the kind of man you can afford to offend? Can't you use that brain of yours to think even a little before doing something like that?!"}
I tucked myself away at some seat in Narcissism's VIP section, the unusually dark lighting in this part of the club made it easy for me to see Zhou Wenyang's bar clearly, while guaranteeing he could not see me. I knew he worked here every weekend, and I wasn't ready to go back to school as yet, so when I wanted to check observe him, I came here to his place of work and waited.

After a couple of days had passed, Lee came to find me. As soon as I opened the door, a grim expression met me: "Xiao Jing, why did you do something like that to Eric? Does he seem like the kind of man you can afford to offend? Can't you use that brain of yours to think even a little before doing something like that?!"

_{I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.}"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.

I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.

_{If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.}◈◇◈

If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.

_◈◇◈
The always cool and insufferably arrogant when facing others, who's morality was not much better than that of one who was a target of scorn: Lin Jing, was actually hiding, and sneakily popping his head out from behind the alcoholic drink in his hand to steal a peek at Zhou Wenyang.

◈◇◈

_{I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.}
"Lin Jing."

I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.

_{不中不洋：lit. not Chinese; not foreign (Western). Mixed Chinese and Western. []}Never in my life had I ever been as heartbroken as I was at this moment.

不中不洋：lit. not Chinese; not foreign (Western). Mixed Chinese and Western. []

_{Huh? Was I crying?}
I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!

Huh? Was I crying?

_{Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"}Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

_{"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.}
"What happened, did I scare you?" That hand resting on my shoulder showed no intent of removing itself.

"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.

_{"Today's Monday… didn't you go to class?"}"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

"Today's Monday… didn't you go to class?"

_{碎碎平安: it's sounds like 岁岁平安: which is a good blessings/wish said on New Years; and 碎碎平安’s 碎碎 means to break something.}
That face, which was a mix of Chinese and Western^[1], belonging to the half-blood who was said to be the year's most XXXX, when I think that face is not even worthy of lifting up Zhou Wenyang's shoe. It was most likely that those magazines, out of the fear that he would used his money to crush them, reluctantly—with streaming tears—took his photograph to make their covers.

碎碎平安: it's sounds like 岁岁平安: which is a good blessings/wish said on New Years; and 碎碎平安’s 碎碎 means to break something. It all means you shouldn't hold it against a child when the break something on New year's. [] 玻璃: glass, as well as slang for homosexual male. []^4. 春天: Spring (season). It refers to weather, but Spring in Chinese carries the allusion of the season of love, joy, lust,etc. So not only is a contrast between his current state and the usual warmth expected of the season; a contrast of this being his "first Spring (falling in love with ZWY)" with his current state (including the disappointment he feels towards his 'lustful' body) and the season (both literal and figurative interpretations). The whole thing is just too fucking sad. At least, that's how I see it. []^5. 惊弓之鸟: lit. A bird frightened from the twitch of a bow. Meaning, someone who's frightened easily (especially as a result of past experiences).[]2023 iana: I thought this was the worse chapter I would ever translate when I did. I cried reading it, I cried translating it, I cried proofing it. But I was wrong, so frikkin wrong... Don't worry, the next chapter is safe. The "worse chapter" I keep mentioning is not in this novel:)[]2023 iana: The worse chapter(s) I'd ever worked on at the time was Pregnant Father, and now it's Evil Son 〒▽〒 If you're actually reading these notes, there is a third story called "Serpentine", and you can get a peek at the translated first chapter on request, but I doubt anybody's reading this far (。﹏。*)

_{I sat in front my computer playing a game, taking my time as I shot the monsters within it, one by one.}"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"

I sat in front my computer playing a game, taking my time as I shot the monsters within it, one by one.

_{Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."}
I crinkled my brows and used a prideful look as my eyes swept towards him, while inside my heart poured full of complaints. How he found this place, I didn't know. All I knew, was that he absolutely did not have those sneaky eyes of his on me again as that of a man flirting to pass the time.

Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."

_{Then there was a {crash}. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.}"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

Then there was a crash. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.

_{"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."}
"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.

"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."

_{I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly.}That face, which was a mix of Chinese and Western, belonging to the half-blood who was said to be the year's most XXXX, when I think that face is not even worthy of lifting up Zhou Wenyang's shoe. It was most likely that those magazines, out of the fear that he would used his money to crush them, reluctantly—with streaming tears—took his photograph to make their covers.

I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly. I wanted get a taxi to get back home. I looked all over apathetically. I don't want to think about anything, I just wanted to sleep. I absolutely don't want to remember anything when I wake up, I don't want to feel any pain, just that alone would be grand.

_{I tucked myself away at some seat in Narcissism's VIP section, the unusually dark lighting in this part of the club made it easy for me to see Zhou Wenyang's bar clearly, while guaranteeing he could not see me. I knew he worked here every weekend, and I wasn't ready to go back to school as yet, so when I wanted to check observe him, I came here to his place of work and waited.}
Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.

I tucked myself away at some seat in Narcissism's VIP section, the unusually dark lighting in this part of the club made it easy for me to see Zhou Wenyang's bar clearly, while guaranteeing he could not see me. I knew he worked here every weekend, and I wasn't ready to go back to school as yet, so when I wanted to check observe him, I came here to his place of work and waited.

_{I dragged my aching body as I staggered away, hearing Zhou Wenyang behind me, calling my name, wanting me to stop.}
While under his gaze, I also felt that my open legged pose was a bit too alluring so I closed them; not saying a word as I stood up and turned to leave.

I dragged my aching body as I staggered away, hearing Zhou Wenyang behind me, calling my name, wanting me to stop.

_{I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."}As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.

I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

_{I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."}Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.

I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

_{Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?}
Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

_{All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. {Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………}}I glared at him, wishing to burn a hole straight through his face. He didn't seem to mind at all, continuing to laugh cheerfully: "You're drunk, so I'll send you back, alright?"

All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………

_{The shame from being humiliated before the public, even more than the chill coming from the class window, made it hard to breathe.}
"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~

The shame from being humiliated before the public, even more than the chill coming from the class window, made it hard to breathe.

_{{It'd be better if you'd just tell me I was lewd!} was what I wanted to sneer, however my face was all wet, yet there were tears streaming down.}Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."

It'd be better if you'd just tell me I was lewd! was what I wanted to sneer, however my face was all wet, yet there were tears streaming down.

_{I stood there, on the roadside, absent-mindedly, a few taxis passing me by; but I was overcome with the sudden uncertainty of where exactly I should go. What if Eric did die? He was losing a lot of blood… and if he dies, I will definitely not be able to live… But, if he doesn't die, he'll never let me go…}
Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."

I stood there, on the roadside, absent-mindedly, a few taxis passing me by; but I was overcome with the sudden uncertainty of where exactly I should go. What if Eric did die? He was losing a lot of blood… and if he dies, I will definitely not be able to live… But, if he doesn't die, he'll never let me go…

_{Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!}◈◇◈

Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!

_{My chest hurt severely; a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.}When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.

My chest hurt severely; a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

_{If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.}
I obediently sat back down. As there was also the saying: "A wise man knows when to submit" and I didn't want to burst into tears in front of all these people because the bone in my arm felt like it was going to be snapped painfully.

If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.

_{Chapter Five}As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.

Chapter Five

_{I was very annoyed when I realized I couldn't hold the glass. But I soon discovered, not only were my hands lacking in any kind of strength, but my legs had also began growing weak.}
"What would you like to drink?" He beamed as he asked me, seeming to completely forget my staying was purely out of being forced, yet despite it, was still surprisingly quite happy.

I was very annoyed when I realized I couldn't hold the glass. But I soon discovered, not only were my hands lacking in any kind of strength, but my legs had also began growing weak.

_{In the end, he wasn't the prince that would save the save the princess from the tower in fairy tales, and I definitely was not a princess who'd wait for her 'knight in shining armour' to save her.}And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.

In the end, he wasn't the prince that would save the save the princess from the tower in fairy tales, and I definitely was not a princess who'd wait for her 'knight in shining armour' to save her.

_{Chapter Five}I glared at him, wishing to burn a hole straight through his face. He didn't seem to mind at all, continuing to laugh cheerfully: "You're drunk, so I'll send you back, alright?"

Chapter Five

_{Never in my life had I ever been as heartbroken as I was at this moment.}
I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?

Never in my life had I ever been as heartbroken as I was at this moment.

_{"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"}
So strange... these days, people will even resort to such shamelessness?

"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"

_{I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."}"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

_{Because of friction of rubbing against the {glass}, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.}Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

Because of friction of rubbing against the glass, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.

_{"Then what are you interested in?" He stared at my messed up clothes, his face darkened, "Sleeping with different men everyday?"}
"It doesn't matter, just not much." It'd be best if I can drink it all in one gulp, then I can just high-tail it out of here.

"Then what are you interested in?" He stared at my messed up clothes, his face darkened, "Sleeping with different men everyday?"

_{A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.}If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.

A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

_{I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.}When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.

I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.

_{"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~}
As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."

"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~

_{Leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, pondering as I did this: what was left of me now?}
Then there was a crash. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well^[2]; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.

Leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, pondering as I did this: what was left of me now?

_{All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………}
"Xiao Jing, what's wrong?" Eric smiled a rather dubious smile as he gazed towards me.

All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………

_{A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.}I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly. I wanted get a taxi to get back home. I looked all over apathetically. I don't want to think about anything, I just wanted to sleep. I absolutely don't want to remember anything when I wake up, I don't want to feel any pain, just that alone would be grand.

A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

_{"Xiao Jing."}
I was very annoyed when I realized I couldn't hold the glass. But I soon discovered, not only were my hands lacking in any kind of strength, but my legs had also began growing weak.

"Xiao Jing."

_◈◇◈
Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!

◈◇◈

_{"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~}Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."

"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~

_{I pushed him aside; not saying a word.}Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

_{As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.}
"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.

_{"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"}If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.

"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"

_{And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.}
I glared at him, wishing to burn a hole straight through his face. He didn't seem to mind at all, continuing to laugh cheerfully: "You're drunk, so I'll send you back, alright?"

And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.

_{Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.} 碎碎平安: it's sounds like 岁岁平安: which is a good blessings/wish said on New Years; and 碎碎平安’s 碎碎 means to break something. It all means you shouldn't hold it against a child when the break something on New year's. [] 玻璃: glass, as well as slang for homosexual male. []^4. 春天: Spring (season). It refers to weather, but Spring in Chinese carries the allusion of the season of love, joy, lust,etc. So not only is a contrast between his current state and the usual warmth expected of the season; a contrast of this being his "first Spring (falling in love with ZWY)" with his current state (including the disappointment he feels towards his 'lustful' body) and the season (both literal and figurative interpretations). The whole thing is just too fucking sad. At least, that's how I see it. []^5. 惊弓之鸟: lit. A bird frightened from the twitch of a bow. Meaning, someone who's frightened easily (especially as a result of past experiences).[]2023 iana: I thought this was the worse chapter I would ever translate when I did. I cried reading it, I cried translating it, I cried proofing it. But I was wrong, so frikkin wrong... Don't worry, the next chapter is safe. The "worse chapter" I keep mentioning is not in this novel:)[]2023 iana: The worse chapter(s) I'd ever worked on at the time was Pregnant Father, and now it's Evil Son 〒▽〒 If you're actually reading these notes, there is a third story called "Serpentine", and you can get a peek at the translated first chapter on request, but I doubt anybody's reading this far (。﹏。*)

Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.

_{"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"}"Xiao Jing, what's wrong?" Eric smiled a rather dubious smile as he gazed towards me.

"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"

_{Chapter Five}
Despicable!! He's actually willing to go as far as drugging me! My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn't even find words vicious enough to curse that Eric, and more than that, my mouth couldn't even open.

Chapter Five

_{When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.}He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."

When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.

_{You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?}And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.

You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?

_{Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!}
As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.

Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!

_{"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."}
In the end, he wasn't the prince that would save the save the princess from the tower in fairy tales, and I definitely was not a princess who'd wait for her 'knight in shining armour' to save her.

"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."

_{I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.}While under his gaze, I also felt that my open legged pose was a bit too alluring so I closed them; not saying a word as I stood up and turned to leave.

I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.

◈◇◈

_{I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.}
I was taken to a hotel room within the nearest hotel. Looking at how effortlessly Eric pulled out the key card and opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly internally: This was all premeditated... this was all a plot. The chances of a miracle to occur are unlikely so face it, Lin Jing; just accept it.

I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.

_N/A
I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.

N/A

_{Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.}"Again, with this kind of attitude." Lee complained. "Every time you cause trouble, I'm the one who had to clean up the pieces! If it weren't for me, sticking my head out and bearing it all for your sake, would you still be able to be sitting here without a strand of your hair being touched? And you don't even have the presence of mind to tell me, thanks."

Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.

_{"I'm not mad, it's normal for you to do something like this. Just keep in mind that the next time you sell me, just find someone decent. ERIC is not a human at all in bed, and if you kill me off, where would you find a second Lin Jing, huh?}
All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………

"I'm not mad, it's normal for you to do something like this. Just keep in mind that the next time you sell me, just find someone decent. ERIC is not a human at all in bed, and if you kill me off, where would you find a second Lin Jing, huh?

_{I pushed him aside; not saying a word.}"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.

I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

_{When I felt the pain in my legs I stopped at the side of the road, clumsily fiddling around for a cigarette, but then I remembered my jacket was still in that room, with the bleeding from his head Eric lying inside.}
When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.

When I felt the pain in my legs I stopped at the side of the road, clumsily fiddling around for a cigarette, but then I remembered my jacket was still in that room, with the bleeding from his head Eric lying inside.

_{I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.}
I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.

I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.

_{I pushed him aside; not saying a word.}Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

_{"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.}Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.

_{While under his gaze, I also felt that my open legged pose was a bit too alluring so I closed them; not saying a word as I stood up and turned to leave.}
"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."

While under his gaze, I also felt that my open legged pose was a bit too alluring so I closed them; not saying a word as I stood up and turned to leave.

_{I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?}A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?

_{"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"} ◈◇◈

"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"

_{"Today's Monday… didn't you go to class?"}
The shame from being humiliated before the public, even more than the chill coming from the class window, made it hard to breathe.

"Today's Monday… didn't you go to class?"

_{Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"}I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.

Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

_{I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?}Chapter Five

I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?

_{Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"}
Like a carcass, this body was pressed down by that man's violent movements. I felt a burst a dizziness, and although my body could not move, the immense amount of pain flowing through it made my legs twitch.

Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

_{The always cool and insufferably arrogant when facing others, who's morality was not much better than that of one who was a target of scorn: Lin Jing, was actually hiding, and sneakily popping his head out from behind the alcoholic drink in his hand to steal a peek at Zhou Wenyang.}
"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"

The always cool and insufferably arrogant when facing others, who's morality was not much better than that of one who was a target of scorn: Lin Jing, was actually hiding, and sneakily popping his head out from behind the alcoholic drink in his hand to steal a peek at Zhou Wenyang.

_{Chapter Five}"If I hadn't lay down and let Eric do it for the entire night, could your business be done without any problems? I smiled at him, looking at his face as it contorted.

Chapter Five

_◈◇◈"Lin Jing."

◈◇◈

_{That face, which was a mix of Chinese and Western, belonging to the half-blood who was said to be the year's most XXXX, when I think that face is not even worthy of lifting up Zhou Wenyang's shoe. It was most likely that those magazines, out of the fear that he would used his money to crush them, reluctantly—with streaming tears—took his photograph to make their covers.}
Because of friction of rubbing against the glass^[3], I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.

That face, which was a mix of Chinese and Western, belonging to the half-blood who was said to be the year's most XXXX, when I think that face is not even worthy of lifting up Zhou Wenyang's shoe. It was most likely that those magazines, out of the fear that he would used his money to crush them, reluctantly—with streaming tears—took his photograph to make their covers.

_{Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"}
Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

_{As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."}
It'd be better if you'd just tell me I was lewd! was what I wanted to sneer, however my face was all wet, yet there were tears streaming down.

As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."

_{Whenever my frame of mind isn't good, the most immediate method I have to treat it, is to degenerate—to drown (whether or not that meant using poison to quench my thirst, I did not care). So for the past few days I've been drowning—drowning at the kind of place requiring a high-level membership card being the one I had chosen.}
I suddenly had the thought: It seems like Zhou Wenyang is getting farther and farther away.

Whenever my frame of mind isn't good, the most immediate method I have to treat it, is to degenerate—to drown (whether or not that meant using poison to quench my thirst, I did not care). So for the past few days I've been drowning—drowning at the kind of place requiring a high-level membership card being the one I had chosen. Cards, for such places, all given to me by Lee to use, as Lee knew I was this sort of vulgar person, with a low sense of taste who only knew to pick the most expensive thing to consume. Seems like the more pleasurable something is, the more zeros they have, so in that case, maybe piling up more of them will be able to raise my own self worth.

◈◇◈

_{Lee was pissed: "Xiao Jing!"}
I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly. I wanted get a taxi to get back home. I looked all over apathetically. I don't want to think about anything, I just wanted to sleep. I absolutely don't want to remember anything when I wake up, I don't want to feel any pain, just that alone would be grand.

Lee was pissed: "Xiao Jing!"

_{Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.}
I will not act hysterically like a woman, and I absolutely won't waste money filing a lawsuit against that undefeatable Eric; let alone wonder whether or not the vase I smashed into his skull a moment ago killed him. That ferocious blow was simply one done out of instinct, when my hands and feet were finally able to move. Now I can say I don't wish for him to die that much, only because going to prison for such a person won't be worth it at all.

Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.

_{As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."} When I felt the pain in my legs I stopped at the side of the road, clumsily fiddling around for a cigarette, but then I remembered my jacket was still in that room, with the bleeding from his head Eric lying inside.

As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."

_{"Then what are you interested in?" He stared at my messed up clothes, his face darkened, "Sleeping with different men everyday?"}"Xiao Jing."

"Then what are you interested in?" He stared at my messed up clothes, his face darkened, "Sleeping with different men everyday?"

_{I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."}
When I felt the pain in my legs I stopped at the side of the road, clumsily fiddling around for a cigarette, but then I remembered my jacket was still in that room, with the bleeding from his head Eric lying inside.

I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

_{Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"}As I was carried out past the bar counter, half supported—half embraced, I saw Zhou Wenyang staring at us. I had no wild hopes he would rush over to save me, I simply wondered instead what his reaction would be to seeing me in another man's embrace. His usual calm indifference, as I left Narcissism, that was the expression I saw on his face.

Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

_{Leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, pondering as I did this: what was left of me now?}When I felt the pain in my legs I stopped at the side of the road, clumsily fiddling around for a cigarette, but then I remembered my jacket was still in that room, with the bleeding from his head Eric lying inside.

Leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, pondering as I did this: what was left of me now?

_{"…don't cry…"}
I stood there, on the roadside, absent-mindedly, a few taxis passing me by; but I was overcome with the sudden uncertainty of where exactly I should go. What if Eric did die? He was losing a lot of blood… and if he dies, I will definitely not be able to live… But, if he doesn't die, he'll never let me go…

"…don't cry…"

_{Despicable!! He's actually willing to go as far as drugging me! My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn't even find words vicious enough to curse that Eric, and more than that, my mouth couldn't even open.}"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~

Despicable!! He's actually willing to go as far as drugging me! My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn't even find words vicious enough to curse that Eric, and more than that, my mouth couldn't even open.

_{"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."}I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.

"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."

_{I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly.}
"Xiao Jing."

I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly. I wanted get a taxi to get back home. I looked all over apathetically. I don't want to think about anything, I just wanted to sleep. I absolutely don't want to remember anything when I wake up, I don't want to feel any pain, just that alone would be grand.

_{I pushed him aside; not saying a word.}
I trembled greatly for a while, no different than a cowering mouse^[5], withdrawing into its own neck. Afterwards, I saw it was clearly not Eric, it was Zhou Wenyang.

I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

_{I obediently sat back down. As there was also the saying: "A wise man knows when to submit" and I didn't want to burst into tears in front of all these people because the bone in my arm felt like it was going to be snapped painfully.}
"Today's Monday… didn't you go to class?"

I obediently sat back down. As there was also the saying: "A wise man knows when to submit" and I didn't want to burst into tears in front of all these people because the bone in my arm felt like it was going to be snapped painfully.

_{"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.}I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

_{"…don't cry…"}◈◇◈

"…don't cry…"

_◈◇◈
Never have I, as I do right now, hated that pedantically studious characteristic of Zhou Wenyang. Attend class?!!! Apart from going to class is there nothing that you care about?! Zhou Wenyang, I was taken away right in front your face by that person who raped me, did you know that?

◈◇◈

_{Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!}Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!

_{"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.}
I looked at him with widened eyes, lips trembling the entire time: "Not interested."

"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

_{A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.}
"Then what are you interested in?" He stared at my messed up clothes, his face darkened, "Sleeping with different men everyday?"

A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

_{Because of friction of rubbing against the {glass}, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.}I stood there, on the roadside, absent-mindedly, a few taxis passing me by; but I was overcome with the sudden uncertainty of where exactly I should go. What if Eric did die? He was losing a lot of blood… and if he dies, I will definitely not be able to live… But, if he doesn't die, he'll never let me go…

Because of friction of rubbing against the glass, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.

_{I crinkled my brows and used a prideful look as my eyes swept towards him, while inside my heart poured full of complaints. How he found this place, I didn't know. All I knew, was that he absolutely did not have those sneaky eyes of his on me again as that of a man flirting to pass the time.}
My chest hurt severely; a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

I crinkled my brows and used a prideful look as my eyes swept towards him, while inside my heart poured full of complaints. How he found this place, I didn't know. All I knew, was that he absolutely did not have those sneaky eyes of his on me again as that of a man flirting to pass the time.

_{I sat in front my computer playing a game, taking my time as I shot the monsters within it, one by one.}"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

I sat in front my computer playing a game, taking my time as I shot the monsters within it, one by one.

_{I suddenly had the thought: It seems like Zhou Wenyang is getting farther and farther away.}
A severe pain ripped through my chest, and a burst of darkness appeared before my eyes.

I suddenly had the thought: It seems like Zhou Wenyang is getting farther and farther away.

_{Whenever my frame of mind isn't good, the most immediate method I have to treat it, is to degenerate—to drown (whether or not that meant using poison to quench my thirst, I did not care). So for the past few days I've been drowning—drowning at the kind of place requiring a high-level membership card being the one I had chosen.}The always cool and insufferably arrogant when facing others, who's morality was not much better than that of one who was a target of scorn: Lin Jing, was actually hiding, and sneakily popping his head out from behind the alcoholic drink in his hand to steal a peek at Zhou Wenyang.

Whenever my frame of mind isn't good, the most immediate method I have to treat it, is to degenerate—to drown (whether or not that meant using poison to quench my thirst, I did not care). So for the past few days I've been drowning—drowning at the kind of place requiring a high-level membership card being the one I had chosen. Cards, for such places, all given to me by Lee to use, as Lee knew I was this sort of vulgar person, with a low sense of taste who only knew to pick the most expensive thing to consume. Seems like the more pleasurable something is, the more zeros they have, so in that case, maybe piling up more of them will be able to raise my own self worth.

_{I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.}
Before I could respond, I had already slapped him across the face—hard, then turned around and just ran.

I don't want to recall that entire event. In short, that usually refined, graceful and immaculately dressed man; tore off his clothes, leaving only a beast behind. I could not see them, but I knew my body was definitely completely covered in blueish-purple scars and bite marks seeping with blood.

_{He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."}Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."

_{Because of friction of rubbing against the glass, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.}
Never in my life had I ever been as heartbroken as I was at this moment.

Because of friction of rubbing against the glass, I felt pain, I felt stifled; but there was also shame—shame at my own erection.

_{You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?}
I dragged my aching body as I staggered away, hearing Zhou Wenyang behind me, calling my name, wanting me to stop.

You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?

_{"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.}"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.

_{I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.}
I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.

I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.

_{I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!}After a couple of days had passed, Lee came to find me. As soon as I opened the door, a grim expression met me: "Xiao Jing, why did you do something like that to Eric? Does he seem like the kind of man you can afford to offend? Can't you use that brain of yours to think even a little before doing something like that?!"

I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!

_{"If I hadn't lay down and let Eric do it for the entire night, could your business be done without any problems? I smiled at him, looking at his face as it contorted.}
"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."

"If I hadn't lay down and let Eric do it for the entire night, could your business be done without any problems? I smiled at him, looking at his face as it contorted.

_{I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!}
I pushed him aside; not saying a word.

I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!

_{I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly.}"Xiao Jing, what's wrong?" Eric smiled a rather dubious smile as he gazed towards me.

I never knew the spring time^[4] in T-City could be so cold. I only wore a shirt, limping my way down the street at the wee hours of the morning, which was still rather chilly, seeing that I trembled constantly. I wanted get a taxi to get back home. I looked all over apathetically. I don't want to think about anything, I just wanted to sleep. I absolutely don't want to remember anything when I wake up, I don't want to feel any pain, just that alone would be grand.

_{Despicable!! He's actually willing to go as far as drugging me! My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn't even find words vicious enough to curse that Eric, and more than that, my mouth couldn't even open.}
"…don't cry…"

Despicable!! He's actually willing to go as far as drugging me! My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn't even find words vicious enough to curse that Eric, and more than that, my mouth couldn't even open.

_{I was taken to a hotel room within the nearest hotel. Looking at how effortlessly Eric pulled out the key card and opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly internally: This was all premeditated... this was all a plot. The chances of a miracle to occur are unlikely so face it, Lin Jing; just accept it.}
Huh? Was I crying?

I was taken to a hotel room within the nearest hotel. Looking at how effortlessly Eric pulled out the key card and opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly internally: This was all premeditated... this was all a plot. The chances of a miracle to occur are unlikely so face it, Lin Jing; just accept it.

_{Then there was a crash. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.}
He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."

Then there was a crash. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.

_{"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.}
"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

_{I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!}I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.

I was so enthralled in my gazing that I wasn't even aware that someone had come and sat down beside me until I felt a hand tap against my shoulder, causing me to smash that glass of some expensive drink in my hand onto the floor—with a bang!

_{"What would you like to drink?" He beamed as he asked me, seeming to completely forget my staying was purely out of being forced, yet despite it, was still surprisingly quite happy.}
And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.

"What would you like to drink?" He beamed as he asked me, seeming to completely forget my staying was purely out of being forced, yet despite it, was still surprisingly quite happy.

_{All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. {Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………}}I dragged my aching body as I staggered away, hearing Zhou Wenyang behind me, calling my name, wanting me to stop.

All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………

_{I tucked myself away at some seat in Narcissism's VIP section, the unusually dark lighting in this part of the club made it easy for me to see Zhou Wenyang's bar clearly, while guaranteeing he could not see me. I knew he worked here every weekend, and I wasn't ready to go back to school as yet, so when I wanted to check observe him, I came here to his place of work and waited.}Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.

I tucked myself away at some seat in Narcissism's VIP section, the unusually dark lighting in this part of the club made it easy for me to see Zhou Wenyang's bar clearly, while guaranteeing he could not see me. I knew he worked here every weekend, and I wasn't ready to go back to school as yet, so when I wanted to check observe him, I came here to his place of work and waited.

_{Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.}
You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?

Truth be told, this man's looks, physique, self-restraint, and background—relatively speaking—all made him superior within that circle of friends of his; but I just didn't know why when I saw him, I always felt my eyes were offended. Compared to that loathsome Lee, I detested him a lot more.

_{"Lin Jing."}While under his gaze, I also felt that my open legged pose was a bit too alluring so I closed them; not saying a word as I stood up and turned to leave.

"Lin Jing."

_{So strange... these days, people will even resort to such shamelessness?}
If you had said so before, I would have given up; I wouldn't have tried so hard; I wouldn't have had the ridiculous idea of wanting to pretend to be someone different in front of you.

So strange... these days, people will even resort to such shamelessness?

_{And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.}Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

And I, lifelessly pressed my dampened face onto his shoulder.

◈◇◈

_{"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"}
After a couple of days had passed, Lee came to find me. As soon as I opened the door, a grim expression met me: "Xiao Jing, why did you do something like that to Eric? Does he seem like the kind of man you can afford to offend? Can't you use that brain of yours to think even a little before doing something like that?!"

"Xiao Jing… I wished for this day for so long……"

_{When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.}
I sat in front my computer playing a game, taking my time as I shot the monsters within it, one by one.

When my blurry, semi-conscious mind fell and pressed against the glass window of the room, I awoke.

_{You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?}"Let go." I wanted to shake his hand off in disgust. Everyone was looking our way; and I, in no way, had the slightest intention of leading him on to leave him a little bit of face. How did that saying go again: kindness towards an enemy, is cruelty towards oneself~

You already knew that this was the sort of person I was, Zhou Wenyang. Why didn't you say that kind of thing earlier, huh?

_{I will not act hysterically like a woman, and I absolutely won't waste money filing a lawsuit against that undefeatable Eric; let alone wonder whether or not the vase I smashed into his skull a moment ago killed him. That ferocious blow was simply one done out of instinct, when my hands and feet were finally able to move.}
"Again, with this kind of attitude." Lee complained. "Every time you cause trouble, I'm the one who had to clean up the pieces! If it weren't for me, sticking my head out and bearing it all for your sake, would you still be able to be sitting here without a strand of your hair being touched? And you don't even have the presence of mind to tell me, thanks."

I will not act hysterically like a woman, and I absolutely won't waste money filing a lawsuit against that undefeatable Eric; let alone wonder whether or not the vase I smashed into his skull a moment ago killed him. That ferocious blow was simply one done out of instinct, when my hands and feet were finally able to move. Now I can say I don't wish for him to die that much, only because going to prison for such a person won't be worth it at all.

_{I was taken to a hotel room within the nearest hotel. Looking at how effortlessly Eric pulled out the key card and opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly internally: {This was all premeditated... this was all a plot.} The chances of a miracle to occur are unlikely so face it, Lin Jing; just accept it.}Eric's hand, along with his tall stature, made my own physique inferior by comparison. I felt his hand gradually tighten, however, his smile still remained soft and courteous: "Sit down and have a drink with me, alright."

I was taken to a hotel room within the nearest hotel. Looking at how effortlessly Eric pulled out the key card and opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh bitterly internally: This was all premeditated... this was all a plot. The chances of a miracle to occur are unlikely so face it, Lin Jing; just accept it.

_{I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?}
"It's what you should do." I was still shooting, exploding, then shooting, and exploding.

I couldn't help but think about what Lee had told me: "Xiao Jing, this cold expression of yours is especially attractive." That is to say, the more refused, humiliated, and tormented; in order to raise their heads and have some integrity, they have no choice but to like longing for me even more?

_{"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.}"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."

"I'm so sorry…" he muttered repeatedly as he ran his slender fingers through my hair.

_{It'd be better if you'd just tell me I was lewd! was what I wanted to sneer, however my face was all wet, yet there were tears streaming down.}
Lee was pissed: "Xiao Jing!"

It'd be better if you'd just tell me I was lewd! was what I wanted to sneer, however my face was all wet, yet there were tears streaming down.

_{As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."} Lee was pissed: "Xiao Jing!"

As soon as the glass touched my hand, I chugged it. Within a couple seconds, I saw it's base, then stood up triumphantly lifting my glass to him: "I accompanied you for a drink, I'll be going now."

_{Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"}"If I hadn't lay down and let Eric do it for the entire night, could your business be done without any problems? I smiled at him, looking at his face as it contorted.

Having failed in his attempt at flirtation under the eyes of the crowd, caused that seasoned and well honed face of Eric's to lose a bit of its composure, his hand reaching out to pull my arm: "Lin Jing!"

_{"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.}
"If I hadn't lay down and let Eric do it for the entire night, could your business be done without any problems? I smiled at him, looking at his face as it contorted.

"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.

_{I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.}I dragged my aching body as I staggered away, hearing Zhou Wenyang behind me, calling my name, wanting me to stop.

I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.

_{"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."}Then there was a crash. My eyes opened widely as I stared at the shattered cup lying before my feet, thinking that this year, I really shattered it well; it must've fallen twice in the last few seconds.

"Don't be scared, they can't see us from outside."

_{I glared at him, wishing to burn a hole straight through his face. He didn't seem to mind at all, continuing to laugh cheerfully: "You're drunk, so I'll send you back, alright?"}
"Lin Jing, what nonsense are you speaking of……"

I glared at him, wishing to burn a hole straight through his face. He didn't seem to mind at all, continuing to laugh cheerfully: "You're drunk, so I'll send you back, alright?"

_{Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"}I didn't know how far I ran, it probably wasn't very far, but he caught up to me. I wanted to—I should have run a bit faster, but walking made me feel so much pain, not to mention how much running like this caused; while my thighs had something warm flowing down them, and I just knew it was blood.

Trembling, when I shot off against the glass, I heard a low laugh from Eric: "Xiao Jing… you really are quite sensitive, hm…"

_{"What happened, did I scare you?" That hand resting on my shoulder showed no intent of removing itself.}
"I'm not mad, it's normal for you to do something like this. Just keep in mind that the next time you sell me, just find someone decent. ERIC is not a human at all in bed, and if you kill me off, where would you find a second Lin Jing, huh?

"What happened, did I scare you?" That hand resting on my shoulder showed no intent of removing itself.

_{"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.}I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.

"I never thought I'd run into you here. If I'd known you liked coming here earlier, I would've dropped by a few days ago to check it out." He smiled very much like a gentleman. His gestures all completely impeccable, yet, from my point of view, why did the smile on his face look so obscene.

_{In the end, he wasn't the prince that would save the save the princess from the tower in fairy tales, and I definitely was not a princess who'd wait for her 'knight in shining armour' to save her.}
I laughed, pushing the stiffened faced LEE out the door, shutting it close.

In the end, he wasn't the prince that would save the save the princess from the tower in fairy tales, and I definitely was not a princess who'd wait for her 'knight in shining armour' to save her.

_{I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.}So strange... these days, people will even resort to such shamelessness?

I frightfully stared at T-City's moonlit night scape, the bustling and never ending stream of traffic filling the street outside as my naked form was on full display for all to see while being assaulted by that man.

_{"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."}Could it be that the drink I just had was too strong?!

"Xiao Jing…" He grabbed my arm tightly, "I'm sorry."

_{"Lin Jing."}
Leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, pondering as I did this: what was left of me now?

"Lin Jing."

_{I suddenly had the thought: {It seems like Zhou Wenyang is getting farther and farther away.}} All in all, I was no different than a piece of meat on a chopping block. He manipulated me as he liked, he humiliated me as he liked. I did not want to see it, I didn't want to hear it—I did my best to will myself to pass out. Hurry up and faint! Hurry up and black out! I don't want to know anything…………

I suddenly had the thought: It seems like Zhou Wenyang is getting farther and farther away.

_{He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."}"Xiao Jing, your alcohol tolerance is no good, huh!" Eric chuckled lightly from beside me, extending his hand to support me. I wanted to push him away or back away from him, but all that resulted in was me falling weakly into his embrace.

He suddenly reached out his arms and held me: " I'm sorry, Xiao Jing. Please don't cry."

_{"Xiao Jing, what's wrong?" Eric smiled a rather dubious smile as he gazed towards me.}
N/A

"Xiao Jing, what's wrong?" Eric smiled a rather dubious smile as he gazed towards me.

---

Author's Note:

^1. 不中不洋：lit. not Chinese; not foreign (Western). Mixed Chinese and Western.

Notes:

^2. 碎碎平安: it's sounds like 岁岁平安: which is a good blessings/wish said on New Years; and 碎碎平安’s 碎碎 means to break something. It all means you shouldn't hold it against a child when the break something on New year's.

^3. 玻璃: glass, as well as slang for homosexual male.

^4. 春天: Spring (season). It refers to weather, but Spring in Chinese carries the allusion of the season of love, joy, lust,etc. So not only is a contrast between his current state and the usual warmth expected of the season; a contrast of this being his "first Spring (falling in love with ZWY)" with his current state (including the disappointment he feels towards his 'lustful' body) and the season (both literal and figurative interpretations). The whole thing is just too fucking sad. At least, that's how I see it.

^5. 惊弓之鸟: lit. A bird frightened from the twitch of a bow. Meaning, someone who's frightened easily (especially as a result of past experiences).

2023 iana: I thought this was the worse chapter I would ever translate when I did. I cried reading it, I cried translating it, I cried proofing it. But I was wrong, so frikkin wrong... Don't worry, the next chapter is safe. The "worse chapter" I keep mentioning is not in this novel:)

2023 iana: The worse chapter(s) I'd ever worked on at the time was Pregnant Father, and now it's Evil Son 〒▽〒 If you're actually reading these notes, there is a third story called "Serpentine", and you can get a peek at the translated first chapter on request, but I doubt anybody's reading this far (。﹏。*)

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