Evil Son: C31-1
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: Part One
This novel was posted on cnt18 [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)
The rage was maddening—scorching, feeling as though it would burst out of his chest! He was barely able to restrain the urge—the desire—to strangle that man who was his father until he breathed his last breath.
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
Yu Jiang went astray. He began tattooing his body, getting mixed up in gangs, and messing around with women. In no time at all, he had gone from a grade-A student to a menace to both teachers and other students.
This was the kind of love that started with mutual pain and would end with mutual pain as well.
More time passed, and he had then entered high school. His grandparents were long dead, and his father's position had risen greatly.
Yu Jiang thought back to that time in the past, to that night when he was still just a young boy who had heard his grandmother say to his father, "...let other people discover your secret..."
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
"...secret?!"
But no matter how hard he tried, Yu Jiang found nothing. There was no special "secret" he could find. He was rather disappointed at this, though he refused to admit that fact.
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
The father I revered has a secret!
His body was only ravaged for revenge, yet the constant reminder made a person's eyes sting.
But it was too late! The lapse in his reaction was already enough. Even if it was a minute, no—a few seconds—would be enough time to allow Yu Jiang to clearly see the structure that was between his bare legs. That-that-that... That's not something a normal man should have—absolutely not!
But no matter how many women he held, the thing that stuck in his heart was that man's pained and hoarse mоans, and the intoxicating feeling of his body being set ablaze when that tight hоle convulsed around him as he released.
Such words to a curious child were simply too much of an exciting and gripping challenge that was too hard to resist.
We have remained entangled to this day! Those passionate years that burned like a raging fire were impossible to cast out of our memories. They had once encompassed my youthful passions and desires, my youthful pain and dreams!
So the only method he found to appease his anger was to entangle himself within that man's body while intensifying his level of abuse. It was the only way he could dampen his sense of shame.
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
From then on, the young Yu Jiang had just about exhausted his patience and observation skills in an attempt to discover the secret of the man who was his father.
That place was where he had spent his entire childhood.
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
That "secret." The words his grandmother had spat at his father long ago, "your secret," Yu Jiang had forgotten.
But no matter how hard he tried, Yu Jiang found nothing. There was no special "secret" he could find. He was rather disappointed at this, though he refused to admit that fact.
What's more, he slowly began to realise that none of his other classmates had a father with a status that high. He also found out that their fathers would beat them and scold them—and when it came to the toys and snacks they asked for, most of the time, they were mercilessly refused outright!
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
Then, after the visit from his grandmother and grandfather, his father had gone out to work.
He lifted his head, staring at the wide-eyed man, whose face was as white as a sheet. Without the thought crossing his mind, the young Yu Jiang slapped his father square across the face. He had struck his father. He looked at his father's face, watching as his fair skin erupted in a tremor because of his blow.
"Xiao Jiang! What do you think you're doing?!" The man was a step slower in his reaction, reaching to tug away the towel from Yu Jiang in alarm. But, again, it was already too late. With one swift motion, he was pinned on the wet bathroom floor by his son, who then used his hands to force his legs open.
What was that? His mind seemed to be at a complete blank. His conscious thoughts came to an abrupt stop.
As a result, Yu Jiang had to follow along with his father, who had to leave that house tucked away on a countryside lane where the fragrance of red cherries and bananas abound.
Meng Fei's words were like a splash of cold water, pouring into his molten slurry of emotions to reveal their flaw.
Just the thought of how much he had once worshipped this man as the most loving father and perfect man—of how he thought that man was majestic, serene, and someone whose footsteps were impossible to follow—made Yu Jiang want to expel the contents of his gut.
So whenever that person found themselves in similar situations or environments, they would express these imprinted actions by instinct.
That place was where he had spent his entire childhood.
Just the thought of how much he had once worshipped this man as the most loving father and perfect man—of how he thought that man was majestic, serene, and someone whose footsteps were impossible to follow—made Yu Jiang want to expel the contents of his gut.
And now he was taken to the capital of the province to begin elementary school.
Such a discovery almost left the young Yu Jiang gobsmacked. All he had ever known was his own father, who had never once lost his temper at him and had always been gentle and never denied his requests. Anything he wanted, all he had to do was tell his father, and the next morning it would be there, neatly placed by his bedside, when he woke up. Even when he was making mischief and causing all sorts of trouble, his father had never gotten mad at him. The most that man would do was frown while at a loss. He would also just mumble that he was a "troublemaker," before then patiently leaving to clean up his mess.
Yu Jiang thought back to that time in the past, to that night when he was still just a young boy who had heard his grandmother say to his father, "...let other people discover your secret..."
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
His father, Yu Yanzhang, hadn't become the governor at that time, but he had relied on his own father's name and prestige to attain a provincial government position. It was one that could be said to be big but not big because calling it small would be absolutely wrong since it was still one of prominence.
As a result, Yu Jiang had to follow along with his father, who had to leave that house tucked away on a countryside lane where the fragrance of red cherries and bananas abound.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: Part One
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
"...secret?!"
What's more, he slowly began to realise that none of his other classmates had a father with a status that high. He also found out that their fathers would beat them and scold them—and when it came to the toys and snacks they asked for, most of the time, they were mercilessly refused outright!
An inexperienced body couldn't be so adept after being held just once or twice. It was impossible! Also, despite his resistance and initial cries of pain, halfway through, without realising it, he would begin letting out pleasurable moans. Then, at the end of it, his back hole would contract and wrap him tight, doing its best to search for every drop of pleasure it could find.
Such a discovery almost left the young Yu Jiang gobsmacked. All he had ever known was his own father, who had never once lost his temper at him and had always been gentle and never denied his requests. Anything he wanted, all he had to do was tell his father, and the next morning it would be there, neatly placed by his bedside, when he woke up. Even when he was making mischief and causing all sorts of trouble, his father had never gotten mad at him. The most that man would do was frown while at a loss. He would also just mumble that he was a "troublemaker," before then patiently leaving to clean up his mess.
But no matter how many women he held, the thing that stuck in his heart was that man's pained and hoarse mоans, and the intoxicating feeling of his body being set ablaze when that tight hоle convulsed around him as he released.
Through these comparisons, Yu Jiang realised what a happy and blessed child he was.
Now I know that what I felt for you wasn't hatred. Since long ago, I have been in love with you. I do hate myself, however. I hate myself for falling for you rather than hating you instead.
And like this, the news of Yu Jiang having the best dad ever quickly spread throughout the class.
What he had never expected was just how exhilarating—how mind-blowing being in a man would feel.
All his classmates were burning with envy, and Yu Jiang's young heart swelled with pride because of it, making him practically glide on air. He was even the kind of kid who longed for parent-teacher conferences because he got to let everyone know how great his father was. He sat next to the man during the meetings deliberately. He also went as far as making a noise in case others didn't notice, just to make sure everyone could see. That man was his father, and he was that man's son; he wanted everyone to know it well.
So the next time Yu Jiang went back home, his father was in his study reviewing documents. Seeing he had come back, that man's entire body trembled. Yu Jiang, wearing no expression, pulled the man from his chair and directly pinned him down on the sofa. The resistance that man put up had no effect. His body was painfully penetrated in the end, and he was once again made to emit those long-desired, sweet-sounding moans.
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
His father, Yu Yanzhang, hadn't become the governor at that time, but he had relied on his own father's name and prestige to attain a provincial government position. It was one that could be said to be big but not big because calling it small would be absolutely wrong since it was still one of prominence.
The rage was maddening—scorching, feeling as though it would burst out of his chest! He was barely able to restrain the urge—the desire—to strangle that man who was his father until he breathed his last breath.
His father had never forgotten to lock the door when he was in the shower, and that day, it was probably because he never thought his son would be there. But Yu Jiang didn't know the door was unlocked, unlike normal, so the force he used was too much, causing him to open the door and tumble in. He fell with a loud crash, then he jumped back up to his feet. Never did he expect the shock of his life to come after his head was lifted.
That "secret." The words his grandmother had spat at his father long ago, "your secret," Yu Jiang had forgotten.
Through these comparisons, Yu Jiang realised what a happy and blessed child he was.
If you all found out the truth, let's see how many of you will still envy me then!
What he had never expected was just how exhilarating—how mind-blowing being in a man would feel.
More time passed, and he had then entered high school. His grandparents were long dead, and his father's position had risen greatly.
Yu Jiang's guess of his father having a relationship with a man before grew more certain. He had also guessed the relationship had gone on for a long time.
Later down the road, that day arrived. That day, that dreaded day, where everything had begun. All the pride and joy that came with being that man's son vanished in an instant. All the dignity that man possessed as his father was trampled on and stripped away. That day had come to pass, all because Yu Jiang had forgotten a textbook at home. The young Yu Jiang returned home to get it, and he heard the shower running in the bathroom and knew his father was taking a bath. Without thinking much about it, he pushed open the door when leaving to say, "Dad! I'm off!"
From then on, the young Yu Jiang had just about exhausted his patience and observation skills in an attempt to discover the secret of the man who was his father.
But those classmates of his had no idea of any of this, so every time they saw his father on the television screen, they would genuinely exclaim, "Yu Jiang, we're so jealous that you have such a guy as your dad!"
But it was too late! The lapse in his reaction was already enough. Even if it was a minute, no—a few seconds—would be enough time to allow Yu Jiang to clearly see the structure that was between his bare legs. That-that-that... That's not something a normal man should have—absolutely not!
His father had never forgotten to lock the door when he was in the shower, and that day, it was probably because he never thought his son would be there. But Yu Jiang didn't know the door was unlocked, unlike normal, so the force he used was too much, causing him to open the door and tumble in. He fell with a loud crash, then he jumped back up to his feet. Never did he expect the shock of his life to come after his head was lifted.
Then... What was it that happened after?
But then again, what is even normal anyway?
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
That showering man was left stunned by his sudden appearance. He stood there, confounded, with his towel still in his hand. It was only after he noticed Yu Jiang's wandering gaze that his senses returned, and he hurriedly covered himself with his towel.
If you all found out the truth, let's see how many of you will still envy me then!
But it was too late! The lapse in his reaction was already enough. Even if it was a minute, no—a few seconds—would be enough time to allow Yu Jiang to clearly see the structure that was between his bare legs. That-that-that... That's not something a normal man should have—absolutely not!
His body had already reacted instinctively to go pounce on that man. "What the hell is that?" He cried out in a panic. He was fifteen years old, so his height and strength were on par with his father's, making it easy for him to rip away the towel from that panicking man's hands.
What was that? His mind seemed to be at a complete blank. His conscious thoughts came to an abrupt stop.
Later down the road, that day arrived. That day, that dreaded day, where everything had begun. All the pride and joy that came with being that man's son vanished in an instant. All the dignity that man possessed as his father was trampled on and stripped away. That day had come to pass, all because Yu Jiang had forgotten a textbook at home. The young Yu Jiang returned home to get it, and he heard the shower running in the bathroom and knew his father was taking a bath. Without thinking much about it, he pushed open the door when leaving to say, "Dad! I'm off!"
Through these comparisons, Yu Jiang realised what a happy and blessed child he was.
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
His body had already reacted instinctively to go pounce on that man. "What the hell is that?" He cried out in a panic. He was fifteen years old, so his height and strength were on par with his father's, making it easy for him to rip away the towel from that panicking man's hands.
The father I revered has a secret!
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
This was the kind of love that started with mutual pain and would end with mutual pain as well.
"Xiao Jiang! What do you think you're doing?!" The man was a step slower in his reaction, reaching to tug away the towel from Yu Jiang in alarm. But, again, it was already too late. With one swift motion, he was pinned on the wet bathroom floor by his son, who then used his hands to force his legs open.
N/A
"Let go—get off me! Xiao Jiang, what are you doing?!" His son pried open those folds that had been closed for years, striking him with a terror that made his mind spin. Even using all his strength to resist couldn't free him from Yu Jiang's control. Meanwhile, Yu Jiang had his head practically buried between his father's legs. His eyes were so wide, they couldn't widen any more as he saw the truth. After seeing that structure in its entirety, he felt...
What was that? His mind seemed to be at a complete blank. His conscious thoughts came to an abrupt stop.
Well, first it was shock, then he was astounded, followed by numbness, before it circled back to shock once more. Then he felt resentment, and then he felt shame—shame and humiliation—that blossomed into pure rage.
iana: I was always wondering who the hell Yu Jiang took after, because Tang Hong is an angel and Meng Fei... isn't that bad, in the context of this story. It's the fking grandparents! It's been nagging me how one of the only two not born from devilX3 is such a [censored]. But I just realised he's like the grandma. She made her child's condition all about her and Yu Jiang did the same! They didn't even give a sh-t when they found out what happened to him, just how it made them feel humiliated. That has been nagging me.
He lifted his head, staring at the wide-eyed man, whose face was as white as a sheet. Without the thought crossing his mind, the young Yu Jiang slapped his father square across the face. He had struck his father. He looked at his father's face, watching as his fair skin erupted in a tremor because of his blow.
Unlike one's consciousness, deep-seated imprints left on the nerves and flesh are sometimes much harder to eliminate.
Back then, what exactly did I feel? Well, it had felt like he was gravely deceived. He had always thought he had the best father that existed in heaven and earth, but he had found out what was really the truth. Because of that body, he couldn't hold his head high as a dignified man, nor could he do so as a father. So him being kind to everyone—being kind to him and being so attentive to all his demands—all of that was done because he was fearful and weak. He was not a man. He was never a man, to begin with! That dirty body of his wasn't worthy of being a man's! He was not worthy of being a father!
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: Part One
He then angrily toyed with those strange folds that wrapped around his manhood like petals, all while his pale-faced father pleaded to be released, any shred of the dignity he had as an elder long gone.
He then angrily toyed with those strange folds that wrapped around his manhood like petals, all while his pale-faced father pleaded to be released, any shred of the dignity he had as an elder long gone.
He was forced to lie before his son with his legs spread wide. Revealing the red nipples on his chest, his slender waist, round buttocks—and even the ugly, hidden secrets between his legs that should never be seen. It made that man experience so much shame and humiliation that his eyes turned red.
Well, first it was shock, then he was astounded, followed by numbness, before it circled back to shock once more. Then he felt resentment, and then he felt shame—shame and humiliation—that blossomed into pure rage.
That "secret." The words his grandmother had spat at his father long ago, "your secret," Yu Jiang had forgotten.
But then again, what is even normal anyway?
Sadly, this did nothing but fuel Yu Jiang's desire. That young man then forced his way into his father dual-sеxed body without a second of hesitance. That first time, it was nothing but a clear-cut case of rаpe. No matter how that man begged, cried, struggled, and pleaded for him to stop—no matter how much his eyes were overflowing with tears and pain or how much his body trembled, Yu Jiang still kept thrusting into him, attacking those tight, fragile inner walls.
All his classmates were burning with envy, and Yu Jiang's young heart swelled with pride because of it, making him practically glide on air. He was even the kind of kid who longed for parent-teacher conferences because he got to let everyone know how great his father was. He sat next to the man during the meetings deliberately. He also went as far as making a noise in case others didn't notice, just to make sure everyone could see. That man was his father, and he was that man's son; he wanted everyone to know it well.
What's more, he slowly began to realise that none of his other classmates had a father with a status that high. He also found out that their fathers would beat them and scold them—and when it came to the toys and snacks they asked for, most of the time, they were mercilessly refused outright!
His father, Yu Yanzhang, hadn't become the governor at that time, but he had relied on his own father's name and prestige to attain a provincial government position. It was one that could be said to be big but not big because calling it small would be absolutely wrong since it was still one of prominence.
What he had never expected was just how exhilarating—how mind-blowing being in a man would feel.
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
If you all found out the truth, let's see how many of you will still envy me then!
After that time...
But it was too late! The lapse in his reaction was already enough. Even if it was a minute, no—a few seconds—would be enough time to allow Yu Jiang to clearly see the structure that was between his bare legs. That-that-that... That's not something a normal man should have—absolutely not!
He was forced to lie before his son with his legs spread wide. Revealing the red nipples on his chest, his slender waist, round buttocks—and even the ugly, hidden secrets between his legs that should never be seen. It made that man experience so much shame and humiliation that his eyes turned red.
Then, was him being a saint, gentleman, and good man before me all an act? Among the anger and contempt Yu Jiang felt at his father's deception, thoughts—cruel thoughts—of ruthlessly and violently abusing that man were mingled with his hatred. In the end, he forced his father to reveal, in intermittent bursts, his past imprisonment and violations by several classmates when he was young. Words that, upon hearing, did nothing but push the raging fire in Yu Jiang's heart to its peak.
Yu Jiang went astray. He began tattooing his body, getting mixed up in gangs, and messing around with women. In no time at all, he had gone from a grade-A student to a menace to both teachers and other students.
Yu Jiang would then scoff and sneer in his heart: Yeah! Envy me all you'd like! It's all because you have no goddamn idea what kind of body this "father" has or about its secrets and humiliating past.
That "secret." The words his grandmother had spat at his father long ago, "your secret," Yu Jiang had forgotten.
The father I revered has a secret!
But no matter how many women he held, the thing that stuck in his heart was that man's pained and hoarse mоans, and the intoxicating feeling of his body being set ablaze when that tight hоle convulsed around him as he released.
Sadly, this did nothing but fuel Yu Jiang's desire. That young man then forced his way into his father dual-sеxed body without a second of hesitance. That first time, it was nothing but a clear-cut case of rаpe. No matter how that man begged, cried, struggled, and pleaded for him to stop—no matter how much his eyes were overflowing with tears and pain or how much his body trembled, Yu Jiang still kept thrusting into him, attacking those tight, fragile inner walls.
Unlike one's consciousness, deep-seated imprints left on the nerves and flesh are sometimes much harder to eliminate.
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
So the next time Yu Jiang went back home, his father was in his study reviewing documents. Seeing he had come back, that man's entire body trembled. Yu Jiang, wearing no expression, pulled the man from his chair and directly pinned him down on the sofa. The resistance that man put up had no effect. His body was painfully penetrated in the end, and he was once again made to emit those long-desired, sweet-sounding moans.
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
Back then, what exactly did I feel? Well, it had felt like he was gravely deceived. He had always thought he had the best father that existed in heaven and earth, but he had found out what was really the truth. Because of that body, he couldn't hold his head high as a dignified man, nor could he do so as a father. So him being kind to everyone—being kind to him and being so attentive to all his demands—all of that was done because he was fearful and weak. He was not a man. He was never a man, to begin with! That dirty body of his wasn't worthy of being a man's! He was not worthy of being a father!
The rage was maddening—scorching, feeling as though it would burst out of his chest! He was barely able to restrain the urge—the desire—to strangle that man who was his father until he breathed his last breath.
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
He was forced to lie before his son with his legs spread wide. Revealing the red nipples on his chest, his slender waist, round buttocks—and even the ugly, hidden secrets between his legs that should never be seen. It made that man experience so much shame and humiliation that his eyes turned red.
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
An inexperienced body couldn't be so adept after being held just once or twice. It was impossible! Also, despite his resistance and initial cries of pain, halfway through, without realising it, he would begin letting out pleasurable moans. Then, at the end of it, his back hole would contract and wrap him tight, doing its best to search for every drop of pleasure it could find.
Then, was him being a saint, gentleman, and good man before me all an act? Among the anger and contempt Yu Jiang felt at his father's deception, thoughts—cruel thoughts—of ruthlessly and violently abusing that man were mingled with his hatred. In the end, he forced his father to reveal, in intermittent bursts, his past imprisonment and violations by several classmates when he was young. Words that, upon hearing, did nothing but push the raging fire in Yu Jiang's heart to its peak.
So the next time Yu Jiang went back home, his father was in his study reviewing documents. Seeing he had come back, that man's entire body trembled. Yu Jiang, wearing no expression, pulled the man from his chair and directly pinned him down on the sofa. The resistance that man put up had no effect. His body was painfully penetrated in the end, and he was once again made to emit those long-desired, sweet-sounding moans.
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
Unlike one's consciousness, deep-seated imprints left on the nerves and flesh are sometimes much harder to eliminate.
After that time...
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
And now he was taken to the capital of the province to begin elementary school.
So whenever that person found themselves in similar situations or environments, they would express these imprinted actions by instinct.
This was the kind of love that started with mutual pain and would end with mutual pain as well.
And like this, the news of Yu Jiang having the best dad ever quickly spread throughout the class.
Then, after the visit from his grandmother and grandfather, his father had gone out to work.
Yu Jiang's guess of his father having a relationship with a man before grew more certain. He had also guessed the relationship had gone on for a long time.
That "secret." The words his grandmother had spat at his father long ago, "your secret," Yu Jiang had forgotten.
Then, was him being a saint, gentleman, and good man before me all an act? Among the anger and contempt Yu Jiang felt at his father's deception, thoughts—cruel thoughts—of ruthlessly and violently abusing that man were mingled with his hatred. In the end, he forced his father to reveal, in intermittent bursts, his past imprisonment and violations by several classmates when he was young. Words that, upon hearing, did nothing but push the raging fire in Yu Jiang's heart to its peak.
So whenever that person found themselves in similar situations or environments, they would express these imprinted actions by instinct.
"Let go—get off me! Xiao Jiang, what are you doing?!" His son pried open those folds that had been closed for years, striking him with a terror that made his mind spin. Even using all his strength to resist couldn't free him from Yu Jiang's control. Meanwhile, Yu Jiang had his head practically buried between his father's legs. His eyes were so wide, they couldn't widen any more as he saw the truth. After seeing that structure in its entirety, he felt...
This prideful attitude of his had even continued all the way to middle school and had completely erased the only matter that had ever troubled his young soul.
The rage was maddening—scorching, feeling as though it would burst out of his chest! He was barely able to restrain the urge—the desire—to strangle that man who was his father until he breathed his last breath.
And, for a young Yu Jiang standing before his classmates, it was a position that filled him with pride.
Then, was him being a saint, gentleman, and good man before me all an act? Among the anger and contempt Yu Jiang felt at his father's deception, thoughts—cruel thoughts—of ruthlessly and violently abusing that man were mingled with his hatred. In the end, he forced his father to reveal, in intermittent bursts, his past imprisonment and violations by several classmates when he was young. Words that, upon hearing, did nothing but push the raging fire in Yu Jiang's heart to its peak.
So whenever that person found themselves in similar situations or environments, they would express these imprinted actions by instinct.
But those classmates of his had no idea of any of this, so every time they saw his father on the television screen, they would genuinely exclaim, "Yu Jiang, we're so jealous that you have such a guy as your dad!"
So the only method he found to appease his anger was to entangle himself within that man's body while intensifying his level of abuse. It was the only way he could dampen his sense of shame.
But no matter how hard he tried, Yu Jiang found nothing. There was no special "secret" he could find. He was rather disappointed at this, though he refused to admit that fact.
Back then, what exactly did I feel? Well, it had felt like he was gravely deceived. He had always thought he had the best father that existed in heaven and earth, but he had found out what was really the truth. Because of that body, he couldn't hold his head high as a dignified man, nor could he do so as a father. So him being kind to everyone—being kind to him and being so attentive to all his demands—all of that was done because he was fearful and weak. He was not a man. He was never a man, to begin with! That dirty body of his wasn't worthy of being a man's! He was not worthy of being a father!
Yu Jiang would then scoff and sneer in his heart: Yeah! Envy me all you'd like! It's all because you have no goddamn idea what kind of body this "father" has or about its secrets and humiliating past.
Yu Jiang thought back to that time in the past, to that night when he was still just a young boy who had heard his grandmother say to his father, "...let other people discover your secret..."
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
If you all found out the truth, let's see how many of you will still envy me then!
"Let go—get off me! Xiao Jiang, what are you doing?!" His son pried open those folds that had been closed for years, striking him with a terror that made his mind spin. Even using all his strength to resist couldn't free him from Yu Jiang's control. Meanwhile, Yu Jiang had his head practically buried between his father's legs. His eyes were so wide, they couldn't widen any more as he saw the truth. After seeing that structure in its entirety, he felt...
So the only method he found to appease his anger was to entangle himself within that man's body while intensifying his level of abuse. It was the only way he could dampen his sense of shame.
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
Just the thought of how much he had once worshipped this man as the most loving father and perfect man—of how he thought that man was majestic, serene, and someone whose footsteps were impossible to follow—made Yu Jiang want to expel the contents of his gut.
That showering man was left stunned by his sudden appearance. He stood there, confounded, with his towel still in his hand. It was only after he noticed Yu Jiang's wandering gaze that his senses returned, and he hurriedly covered himself with his towel.
Well, first it was shock, then he was astounded, followed by numbness, before it circled back to shock once more. Then he felt resentment, and then he felt shame—shame and humiliation—that blossomed into pure rage.
iana: I was always wondering who the hell Yu Jiang took after, because Tang Hong is an angel and Meng Fei... isn't that bad, in the context of this story. It's the fking grandparents! It's been nagging me how one of the only two not born from devilX3 is such a [censored]. But I just realised he's like the grandma. She made her child's condition all about her and Yu Jiang did the same! They didn't even give a sh-t when they found out what happened to him, just how it made them feel humiliated. That has been nagging me.
So the only method he found to appease his anger was to entangle himself within that man's body while intensifying his level of abuse. It was the only way he could dampen his sense of shame.
"Xiao Jiang! What do you think you're doing?!" The man was a step slower in his reaction, reaching to tug away the towel from Yu Jiang in alarm. But, again, it was already too late. With one swift motion, he was pinned on the wet bathroom floor by his son, who then used his hands to force his legs open.
Then... What was it that happened after?
Such words to a curious child were simply too much of an exciting and gripping challenge that was too hard to resist.
Through these comparisons, Yu Jiang realised what a happy and blessed child he was.
And like this, the news of Yu Jiang having the best dad ever quickly spread throughout the class.
We have remained entangled to this day! Those passionate years that burned like a raging fire were impossible to cast out of our memories. They had once encompassed my youthful passions and desires, my youthful pain and dreams!
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
His body was only ravaged for revenge, yet the constant reminder made a person's eyes sting.
And now he was taken to the capital of the province to begin elementary school.
His body had already reacted instinctively to go pounce on that man. "What the hell is that?" He cried out in a panic. He was fifteen years old, so his height and strength were on par with his father's, making it easy for him to rip away the towel from that panicking man's hands.
Such a discovery almost left the young Yu Jiang gobsmacked. All he had ever known was his own father, who had never once lost his temper at him and had always been gentle and never denied his requests. Anything he wanted, all he had to do was tell his father, and the next morning it would be there, neatly placed by his bedside, when he woke up. Even when he was making mischief and causing all sorts of trouble, his father had never gotten mad at him. The most that man would do was frown while at a loss. He would also just mumble that he was a "troublemaker," before then patiently leaving to clean up his mess.
This sordid entanglement, when will it come to an end? This wretched abuse, when will it cease?
Yu Jiang thought back to that time in the past, to that night when he was still just a young boy who had heard his grandmother say to his father, "...let other people discover your secret..."
Now I know that what I felt for you wasn't hatred. Since long ago, I have been in love with you. I do hate myself, however. I hate myself for falling for you rather than hating you instead.
Then, after the visit from his grandmother and grandfather, his father had gone out to work.
During that second assault, Yu Jiang had also discovered another truth. That man, his father—he was certain these were not the first times he had been held by the same-sеx! Without a doubt!
He lifted his head, staring at the wide-eyed man, whose face was as white as a sheet. Without the thought crossing his mind, the young Yu Jiang slapped his father square across the face. He had struck his father. He looked at his father's face, watching as his fair skin erupted in a tremor because of his blow.
Meng Fei's words were like a splash of cold water, pouring into his molten slurry of emotions to reveal their flaw.
Yu Jiang went astray. He began tattooing his body, getting mixed up in gangs, and messing around with women. In no time at all, he had gone from a grade-A student to a menace to both teachers and other students.
And now he was taken to the capital of the province to begin elementary school.
Such words to a curious child were simply too much of an exciting and gripping challenge that was too hard to resist.
After all these years, Yu Jiang had never once second-guessed the rightness of his feelings or actions. As far as he was concerned, because he loved his father, he held him; and because he hated him, he struck him. Plus, even after knowing all this, that man had still shown him unwavering affection, and his actions became far more reckless.
But those classmates of his had no idea of any of this, so every time they saw his father on the television screen, they would genuinely exclaim, "Yu Jiang, we're so jealous that you have such a guy as your dad!"
Life has just been a maddened fling of passionate emotions. But sometimes, Yu Jiang would find himself wondering what a normal life for them would be.
And like this, the news of Yu Jiang having the best dad ever quickly spread throughout the class.
But then again, what is even normal anyway?
Back then, what exactly did I feel? Well, it had felt like he was gravely deceived. He had always thought he had the best father that existed in heaven and earth, but he had found out what was really the truth. Because of that body, he couldn't hold his head high as a dignified man, nor could he do so as a father. So him being kind to everyone—being kind to him and being so attentive to all his demands—all of that was done because he was fearful and weak. He was not a man. He was never a man, to begin with! That dirty body of his wasn't worthy of being a man's! He was not worthy of being a father!
30.1 and 31.1 so no 30.2 ???
ReplyDeleteThirty was too short to be cut (I'm not that evil) so the whole chapter is in one post. The -1 is just because my slightly obsessive-self couldn't let the chapter titles on the summary page not follow a pattern. I changed it to "-0."
DeleteЯ бы всех кастрировал под корень вместо с яйцами
ReplyDelete