Evil Son: C02
CHAPTER TWO
This novel was posted on cnt18 [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
[Main Story]
A gentle voice, one that was deep, one which could bring all the girls coming its way, the kind of voice they'll describe as magnetic! But, to Mr. A, the only way he'd describe that voice, was it being no different from the devil's. It made every inch of him erupt in shivers, when he felt that person... that man—let's call him Mr. B—reach his long and powerful hand slowly between his legs.
"Look at this... this was a gift Mr. C bought just for you... That guy, he never once bothered to buy a gift for any of his girlfriends."
"No... B... I beg you... don't..."
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
Last night, while he was tortured in that place from twilight until the sun rose in the east, he was still in pain, still soaked in obscenity.
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
In shock, I looked al around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
That hand was forceful and strong, and when Mr. A felt it enter his pants, because of the hot weather and sensitivity of his skin, the hand wriggling between his legs was just like a cold snake. It was disgusting, so disgusting... he didn't want it, didn't want it at all! The fine hairs all over his body stood on end, every muscle within him resisted, but Mr. A couldn't move at all, and could only plead weakly:
My name is... A.
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
"Look at this... this was a gift Mr. C bought just for you... That guy, he never once bothered to buy a gift for any of his girlfriends."
Mr. B seemed to notice Mr. A's fear, shock appearing on his face while he gently lowered it.
"Crash!"
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
"No... B... I beg you... don't..."
Just then, the study committee member spoke, his voice dripping with a chill: "Meng Zhaoxiong, you really are despicable. Playing such a calculated trick... is just too despicable."
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
I have a hell... and the number of my devils is three.
"Don't?"
I had no idea what he saw in me, but I got the vague feeling that he wanted to talk to me many times, and he was always looked at me from the corner of his eyes. But I pretended to not notice it every time, and kept my own gaze fixed on my books or some assignment, and he would just gently bow his head.
Mr. B seemed to notice Mr. A's fear, shock appearing on his face while he gently lowered it.
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
—end of interlude—
That was just the truth, they had distinct sexes—men were men, and women were women.
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
Mr. B reached out to caress Mr. A's jet black hair, stoking him from those inky locks to the white of his neck. His eyes then fell on a big bear at the head of Mr. A's bed. It was a teddy bear as tall as a person, bearing golden fur, and a butterfly shaped big bow of red silk. tied around its thick neck.
Mr. B smiled, but he pulled away his wondering hand then turned his body, sitting at Mr. A bedside. He set his deep silent eyes were now trained on Mr. A and he didn't move an inch. But to Mr. A who could only lie there weakly, it was nothing but the composure shown by a cat bestowing its benevolence on a mouse.
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
In shock, I looked all around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
His entire body shook. How did I get myself in this sort of situation...
His entire body shook. How did I get myself in this sort of situation...
"There's no need for you to apologize to that kind of person!" My deskmate told me sternly, after which, he again turned to the study committee member, looking at him provocatively.
I had always thought of myself as a kind-hearted person... but when news first came of that old doctor's death, my first reaction was sighing with relief, as from that moment on, the only outsider who knew of my secret had finally no longer existed in this world! You see, my parents don't love me at all, but they always pretend as though they love me very much. So, at the very least, I believe they wouldn't let the world know about my secret.
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
A gentle voice, one that was deep, one which could bring all the girls coming its way, the kind of voice they'll describe as magnetic! But, to Mr. A, the only way he'd describe that voice, was it being no different from the devil's. It made every inch of him erupt in shivers, when he felt that person... that man—let's call him Mr. B—reach his long and powerful hand slowly between his legs.
Mr. B seemed to notice Mr. A's fear, shock appearing on his face while he gently lowered it.
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
I have no heaven. I have no god.
Just then, the study committee member spoke, his voice dripping with a chill: "Meng Zhaoxiong, you really are despicable. Playing such a calculated trick... is just too despicable."
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
I had no way to break free, so could only let him continue to hold my hand as I uneasily moved to see the study committee member. No matter how you looked at it, the person at fault who burned someone was me, so I then said to him, my voice timid and soft, "I'm so sorry! I-I uh... I didn't mean to do it."
Eventually, there was one time—during summer vacation lessons for the second year class. The weather hot enough to make you faint, so we had all brought our own water cups. I carefully placed my glass water bottle on my desk, but, my desk was small, and I had too many books on it too. So, in order to have enough space for my hands, I placed my cup on the upper corner of my desk. After that, I began the assignments given by the teacher.
Eventually, there was one time—during summer vacation lessons for the second year class. The weather hot enough to make you faint, so we had all brought our own water cups. I carefully placed my glass water bottle on my desk, but, my desk was small, and I had too many books on it too. So, in order to have enough space for my hands, I placed my cup on the upper corner of my desk. After that, I began the assignments given by the teacher.
"A, are you afraid of me? ...why?"
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
The sound of the glass breaking was crisp, after which, the by in front of me, leaped out his chair. My full cup of tea, it fell on his back and onto the floor. Was I too careless and put the put the lid back on properly? ...the hot tea is dripping down his back and his legs!
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
Mr. B smiled, but he pulled away his wondering hand then turned his body, sitting at Mr. A bedside. He set his deep silent eyes were now trained on Mr. A and he didn't move an inch. But to Mr. A who could only lie there weakly, it was nothing but the composure shown by a cat bestowing its benevolence on a mouse.
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
[Main Story]
"A, why are you always so scared of us? We love you so much."
N/A
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
I have a hell... and the number of my devils is three.
Mr. B seemed to notice Mr. A's fear, shock appearing on his face while he gently lowered it.
Mr. B's gaze fell on the water lily sitting on table. A white porcelain vase with fish-like shapes carved into its surface, was filled with trumpet like lilies. Its green fragrant leaves extended softly, providing a cool and subtle decoration for that hot summer night.
From my childhood until now... on my ID card, my student ID, and every kind of document from my childhood, the column where sex is written has always stated: male.
"A, why are you always so scared of us? We love you so much."
"Look at this... this was a gift Mr. C bought just for you... That guy, he never once bothered to buy a gift for any of his girlfriends."
"Look at this... this was a gift Mr. C bought just for you... That guy, he never once bothered to buy a gift for any of his girlfriends."
"A, why are you always so scared of us? We love you so much."
My name is... A.
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
A gentle voice, one that was deep, one which could bring all the girls coming its way, the kind of voice they'll describe as magnetic! But, to Mr. A, the only way he'd describe that voice, was it being no different from the devil's. It made every inch of him erupt in shivers, when he felt that person... that man—let's call him Mr. B—reach his long and powerful hand slowly between his legs.
Whenever I was all alone in my room, I would strip off my clothes in front of the mirror, my pale naked body reflected on the shiny surface. Looking from top to bottom, was a delicate face, smooth shoulders, a flat chest, and long legs... he was indeed a boy. But... between those legs of his, was a ρenίs small enough to make someone feel ashamed. And folded over that member, that wrinkled skin... that ugly rose coloured skin... From the day I became aware of it, I detested it. I hated it because I knew there wasn't any man whose body had such a secret place and thin petal-like skin wrapping around their ρenίses, apart from me!
Mr. A remained silent.
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
Whenever I was all alone in my room, I would strip off my clothes in front of the mirror, my pale naked body reflected on the shiny surface. Looking from top to bottom, was a delicate face, smooth shoulders, a flat chest, and long legs... he was indeed a boy. But... between those legs of his, was a ρenίs small enough to make someone feel ashamed. And folded over that member, that wrinkled skin... that ugly rose coloured skin... From the day I became aware of it, I detested it. I hated it because I knew there wasn't any man whose body had such a secret place and thin petal-like skin wrapping around their ρenίses, apart from me!
Mr. B reached out to caress Mr. A's jet black hair, stoking him from those inky locks to the white of his neck. His eyes then fell on a big bear at the head of Mr. A's bed. It was a teddy bear as tall as a person, bearing golden fur, and a butterfly shaped big bow of red silk. tied around its thick neck.
I did this for a while, until I ran into a difficult problem, I tried to solve for a long time, and out of frustration, I stretched my arms forward—
In shock, I looked al around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
"Don't?"
I had always thought of myself as a kind-hearted person... but when news first came of that old doctor's death, my first reaction was sighing with relief, as from that moment on, the only outsider who knew of my secret had finally no longer existed in this world! You see, my parents don't love me at all, but they always pretend as though they love me very much. So, at the very least, I believe they wouldn't let the world know about my secret.
What are they going on about? I don't understand? So, with a face full of confusion, I looked at my deskmate, Meng Zhaoxiong.
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
Now, I was in trouble with people I never wanted to provoke. I was shocked out of my mind, and I knew this study committee member was usually very unruly! You would normally see him cursing at students to hand in their homework; and a while back, he got into a fight with a boy from another class over a "dream lover" incident. Although this incident gained him demerit on his record, his popularity with the girls seemed to have grown bigger! Like, what the hell was going on? Did girls prefer violent guys these days, or something? Is that why shows like Meteor Garden[1] are so popular on campus? Basically, I don;t understand anything—the world changes so fast!
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
I had always thought of myself as a kind-hearted person... but when news first came of that old doctor's death, my first reaction was sighing with relief, as from that moment on, the only outsider who knew of my secret had finally no longer existed in this world! You see, my parents don't love me at all, but they always pretend as though they love me very much. So, at the very least, I believe they wouldn't let the world know about my secret.
"A, why are you always so scared of us? We love you so much."
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
"There's no need for you to apologize to that kind of person!" My deskmate told me sternly, after which, he again turned to the study committee member, looking at him provocatively.
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
I had no way to break free, so could only let him continue to hold my hand as I uneasily moved to see the study committee member. No matter how you looked at it, the person at fault who burned someone was me, so I then said to him, my voice timid and soft, "I'm so sorry! I-I uh... I didn't mean to do it."
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
I had no way to break free, so could only let him continue to hold my hand as I uneasily moved to see the study committee member. No matter how you looked at it, the person at fault who burned someone was me, so I then said to him, my voice timid and soft, "I'm so sorry! I-I uh... I didn't mean to do it."
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
"What?"
I had no idea what he saw in me, but I got the vague feeling that he wanted to talk to me many times, and he was always looked at me from the corner of his eyes. But I pretended to not notice it every time, and kept my own gaze fixed on my books or some assignment, and he would just gently bow his head.
1. Meteor Garden (2001) is a Taiwanese drama the first adaptation of the manga Boys Over Flowers (which is also the name of the Korean adaptation[2009]) There's a next adaptation made in 2018 (Chinese) and a Thai one last year. The ML is scum of earth. Google it if you want to know more. It's not BL. PS: I hate this show, every single iteration too. This is one of the two dramas I detest, and I mean—loathe. Which is amazing, given the stuff I translate and read. Here's a fked up manhwa recommendation while we're on the topic of shtty male leads and the future for this novel's MC: Hogu Ha Gyeongsu | An Easy Target. Here's the mangaupdates link, the official is on Lezhin or the high seas *wink* I shed tears while reading this, like actual tears! And it didn't make my hate list. Enjoy:)
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
I have no heaven. I have no god.
CHAPTER TWO
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
Mr. B smiled, but he pulled away his wondering hand then turned his body, sitting at Mr. A bedside. He set his deep silent eyes were now trained on Mr. A and he didn't move an inch. But to Mr. A who could only lie there weakly, it was nothing but the composure shown by a cat bestowing its benevolence on a mouse.
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
In shock, I looked al around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
N/A
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
I have a hell... and the number of my devils is three.
The sound of the glass breaking was crisp, after which, the by in front of me, leaped out his chair. My full cup of tea, it fell on his back and onto the floor. Was I too careless and put the put the lid back on properly? ...the hot tea is dripping down his back and his legs!
"Crash!"
Although my body is incomplete, when you look at me from the outside, I do indeed seem like a man. Despite my lips being red an my teeth being white, this was a typical characteristic of Southern men. I wasn't a real man, but I could make myself appear to be one at the very least.
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
That hand was forceful and strong, and when Mr. A felt it enter his pants, because of the hot weather and sensitivity of his skin, the hand wriggling between his legs was just like a cold snake. It was disgusting, so disgusting... he didn't want it, didn't want it at all! The fine hairs all over his body stood on end, every muscle within him resisted, but Mr. A couldn't move at all, and could only plead weakly:
Who... who on earth planted this sort of twisted grass of fate for me...
"A, are you afraid of me? ...why?"
I did this for a while, until I ran into a difficult problem, I tried to solve for a long time, and out of frustration, I stretched my arms forward—
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
I had no way to break free, so could only let him continue to hold my hand as I uneasily moved to see the study committee member. No matter how you looked at it, the person at fault who burned someone was me, so I then said to him, my voice timid and soft, "I'm so sorry! I-I uh... I didn't mean to do it."
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
All the boys, all the girls, were holding their breaths, their gazes fluttering between me, my deskmate, and the student committee member.
I had always thought of myself as a kind-hearted person... but when news first came of that old doctor's death, my first reaction was sighing with relief, as from that moment on, the only outsider who knew of my secret had finally no longer existed in this world! You see, my parents don't love me at all, but they always pretend as though they love me very much. So, at the very least, I believe they wouldn't let the world know about my secret.
Mr. A:
A gentle voice, one that was deep, one which could bring all the girls coming its way, the kind of voice they'll describe as magnetic! But, to Mr. A, the only way he'd describe that voice, was it being no different from the devil's. It made every inch of him erupt in shivers, when he felt that person... that man—let's call him Mr. B—reach his long and powerful hand slowly between his legs.
"There's no need for you to apologize to that kind of person!" My deskmate told me sternly, after which, he again turned to the study committee member, looking at him provocatively.
All the boys, all the girls, were holding their breaths, their gazes fluttering between me, my deskmate, and the student committee member.
My name is... A.
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
I did this for a while, until I ran into a difficult problem, I tried to solve for a long time, and out of frustration, I stretched my arms forward—
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
From my childhood until now... on my ID card, my student ID, and every kind of document from my childhood, the column where sex is written has always stated: male.
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
N/A
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
"Look at this... this was a gift Mr. C bought just for you... That guy, he never once bothered to buy a gift for any of his girlfriends."
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
Yes, I am a man—however, ever since I was young, I knew my body was different from other boys.
"What?"
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
From my childhood until now... on my ID card, my student ID, and every kind of document from my childhood, the column where sex is written has always stated: male.
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
Whenever I was all alone in my room, I would strip off my clothes in front of the mirror, my pale naked body reflected on the shiny surface. Looking from top to bottom, was a delicate face, smooth shoulders, a flat chest, and long legs... he was indeed a boy. But... between those legs of his, was a ρenίs small enough to make someone feel ashamed. And folded over that member, that wrinkled skin... that ugly rose coloured skin... From the day I became aware of it, I detested it. I hated it because I knew there wasn't any man whose body had such a secret place and thin petal-like skin wrapping around their ρenίses, apart from me!
Last night, while he was tortured in that place from twilight until the sun rose in the east, he was still in pain, still soaked in obscenity.
Although my body is incomplete, when you look at me from the outside, I do indeed seem like a man. Despite my lips being red an my teeth being white, this was a typical characteristic of Southern men. I wasn't a real man, but I could make myself appear to be one at the very least.
I've always hidden behind other people, I've always felt extremely uneasy, I've always felt incredibly suffocated... Why are they staring at me like that? I didn't do anything that bad, you know? All I did was knock own a cup of tea and burned a study committee member—that was all!
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
That was just the truth, they had distinct sexes—men were men, and women were women.
I had no idea what he saw in me, but I got the vague feeling that he wanted to talk to me many times, and he was always looked at me from the corner of his eyes. But I pretended to not notice it every time, and kept my own gaze fixed on my books or some assignment, and he would just gently bow his head.
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
"Don't?"
"A, why are you always so scared of us? We love you so much."
—end of interlude—
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
Yes, I am a man—however, ever since I was young, I knew my body was different from other boys.
Mr. B reached out to caress Mr. A's jet black hair, stoking him from those inky locks to the white of his neck. His eyes then fell on a big bear at the head of Mr. A's bed. It was a teddy bear as tall as a person, bearing golden fur, and a butterfly shaped big bow of red silk. tied around its thick neck.
That hand was forceful and strong, and when Mr. A felt it enter his pants, because of the hot weather and sensitivity of his skin, the hand wriggling between his legs was just like a cold snake. It was disgusting, so disgusting... he didn't want it, didn't want it at all! The fine hairs all over his body stood on end, every muscle within him resisted, but Mr. A couldn't move at all, and could only plead weakly:
I had always thought of myself as a kind-hearted person... but when news first came of that old doctor's death, my first reaction was sighing with relief, as from that moment on, the only outsider who knew of my secret had finally no longer existed in this world! You see, my parents don't love me at all, but they always pretend as though they love me very much. So, at the very least, I believe they wouldn't let the world know about my secret.
I've always hidden behind other people, I've always felt extremely uneasy, I've always felt incredibly suffocated... Why are they staring at me like that? I didn't do anything that bad, you know? All I did was knock own a cup of tea and burned a study committee member—that was all!
Although my body is incomplete, when you look at me from the outside, I do indeed seem like a man. Despite my lips being red an my teeth being white, this was a typical characteristic of Southern men. I wasn't a real man, but I could make myself appear to be one at the very least.
Why did I feel embarrassed hearing this? Isn't that the sort of thing someone would normally say to a girl? But my deskmate was the school's man of the year for the sporting world, so in terms of fighting, I'm afraid the study committee member may not have any chance in defeating him. This made me feel a bit relieved, and I thought about removing my deskmate's hand from my own, but when I tried pulling it out, all he did was hold onto mine even tighter!
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
I also went to school, however, I never dared to ever stay in the dormitories. At school, I'm very unsociable because of my body, which made me feel very inferior. In front of girls, I felt I lacked the confidence of a man, and in front of boys, I just felt even more embarrassed.
Mr. B seemed to notice Mr. A's fear, shock appearing on his face while he gently lowered it.
Although my body is incomplete, when you look at me from the outside, I do indeed seem like a man. Despite my lips being red an my teeth being white, this was a typical characteristic of Southern men. I wasn't a real man, but I could make myself appear to be one at the very least.
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
That was just the truth, they had distinct sexes—men were men, and women were women.
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
"Crash!"
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
N/A
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
The study committee member still said nothing, as his gaze fixed on the hand my deskmate used to hold mine. The depth of his eyes gradually condensed into pure anger... a sight I was unsure if it was solely my own imagination. To put everything simply, it seemed as though his entire body radiated sparks.
But... I didn't. Regardless of outer appearance or from a psychological perspective, I should be a man, but when all is said and done, I could never be a real man. What's more, society refers to people like me as "Ying-yang people", an in medicine, they call us "intersex". I hate both of these names.
Mr. B reached out to caress Mr. A's jet black hair, stoking him from those inky locks to the white of his neck. His eyes then fell on a big bear at the head of Mr. A's bed. It was a teddy bear as tall as a person, bearing golden fur, and a butterfly shaped big bow of red silk. tied around its thick neck.
All the boys, all the girls, were holding their breaths, their gazes fluttering between me, my deskmate, and the student committee member.
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As some students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
In shock, I looked al around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
[Main Story]
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
Last night, while he was tortured in that place from twilight until the sun rose in the east, he was still in pain, still soaked in obscenity.
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
"What?"
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
Oh right, Meng Zhaoxiong was that deskmate of mine's name, and I also forgot to mention, he was a sports committee member and sports minister of the student union at our school.
The study committee member still said nothing, as his gaze fixed on the hand my deskmate used to hold mine. The depth of his eyes gradually condensed into pure anger... a sight I was unsure if it was solely my own imagination. To put everything simply, it seemed as though his entire body radiated sparks.
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
I have no heaven. I have no god.
1. Meteor Garden (2001) is a Taiwanese drama the first adaptation of the manga Boys Over Flowers (which is also the name of the Korean adaptation[2009]) There's a next adaptation made in 2018 (Chinese) and a Thai one last year. The ML is scum of earth. Google it if you want to know more. It's not BL. PS: I hate this show, every single iteration too. This is one of the two dramas I detest, and I mean—loathe. Which is amazing, given the stuff I translate and read. Here's a fked up manhwa recommendation while we're on the topic of shtty male leads and the future for this novel's MC: Hogu Ha Gyeongsu | An Easy Target. Here's the mangaupdates link, the official is on Lezhin or the high seas *wink* I shed tears while reading this, like actual tears! And it didn't make my hate list. Enjoy:)
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
CHAPTER TWO
So, put simply, I did not talk to anyone, including my deskmate.
"Don't?"
Last night, while he was tortured in that place from twilight until the sun rose in the east, he was still in pain, still soaked in obscenity.
—end of interlude—
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
That was just the truth, they had distinct sexes—men were men, and women were women.
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Why did I feel embarrassed hearing this? Isn't that the sort of thing someone would normally say to a girl? But my deskmate was the school's man of the year for the sporting world, so in terms of fighting, I'm afraid the study committee member may not have any chance in defeating him. This made me feel a bit relieved, and I thought about removing my deskmate's hand from my own, but when I tried pulling it out, all he did was hold onto mine even tighter!
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
From my childhood until now... on my ID card, my student ID, and every kind of document from my childhood, the column where sex is written has always stated: male.
So, put simply, I did not talk to anyone, including my deskmate.
What are they going on about? I don't understand? So, with a face full of confusion, I looked at my deskmate, Meng Zhaoxiong.
In this entire world, the only people who knew about my body's secret, was probably my mom and dad. It would be reasonable to assert there was also the doctor who delivered me as a baby all those years ago, but that old white-haired doctor had already passed on since I was fourteen years of age.
I had no idea what he saw in me, but I got the vague feeling that he wanted to talk to me many times, and he was always looked at me from the corner of his eyes. But I pretended to not notice it every time, and kept my own gaze fixed on my books or some assignment, and he would just gently bow his head.
Now, I was in trouble with people I never wanted to provoke. I was shocked out of my mind, and I knew this study committee member was usually very unruly! You would normally see him cursing at students to hand in their homework; and a while back, he got into a fight with a boy from another class over a "dream lover" incident. Although this incident gained him demerit on his record, his popularity with the girls seemed to have grown bigger! Like, what the hell was going on? Did girls prefer violent guys these days, or something? Is that why shows like Meteor Garden[1] are so popular on campus? Basically, I don;t understand anything—the world changes so fast!
Eventually, there was one time—during summer vacation lessons for the second year class. The weather hot enough to make you faint, so we had all brought our own water cups. I carefully placed my glass water bottle on my desk, but, my desk was small, and I had too many books on it too. So, in order to have enough space for my hands, I placed my cup on the upper corner of my desk. After that, I began the assignments given by the teacher.
"Crash!"
I did this for a while, until I ran into a difficult problem, I tried to solve for a long time, and out of frustration, I stretched my arms forward—
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
Mr. B smiled, but he pulled away his wondering hand then turned his body, sitting at Mr. A bedside. He set his deep silent eyes were now trained on Mr. A and he didn't move an inch. But to Mr. A who could only lie there weakly, it was nothing but the composure shown by a cat bestowing its benevolence on a mouse.
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
A gentle voice, one that was deep, one which could bring all the girls coming its way, the kind of voice they'll describe as magnetic! But, to Mr. A, the only way he'd describe that voice, was it being no different from the devil's. It made every inch of him erupt in shivers, when he felt that person... that man—let's call him Mr. B—reach his long and powerful hand slowly between his legs.
I've always hidden behind other people, I've always felt extremely uneasy, I've always felt incredibly suffocated... Why are they staring at me like that? I didn't do anything that bad, you know? All I did was knock own a cup of tea and burned a study committee member—that was all!
Mr. A:
"Crash!"
"Crash!"
1. Meteor Garden (2001) is a Taiwanese drama the first adaptation of the manga Boys Over Flowers (which is also the name of the Korean adaptation[2009]) There's a next adaptation made in 2018 (Chinese) and a Thai one last year. The ML is scum of earth. Google it if you want to know more. It's not BL. PS: I hate this show, every single iteration too. This is one of the two dramas I detest, and I mean—loathe. Which is amazing, given the stuff I translate and read. Here's a fked up manhwa recommendation while we're on the topic of shtty male leads and the future for this novel's MC: Hogu Ha Gyeongsu | An Easy Target. Here's the mangaupdates link, the official is on Lezhin or the high seas *wink* I shed tears while reading this, like actual tears! And it didn't make my hate list. Enjoy:)
The sound of the glass breaking was crisp, after which, the by in front of me, leaped out his chair. My full cup of tea, it fell on his back and onto the floor. Was I too careless and put the put the lid back on properly? ...the hot tea is dripping down his back and his legs!
I also went to school, however, I never dared to ever stay in the dormitories. At school, I'm very unsociable because of my body, which made me feel very inferior. In front of girls, I felt I lacked the confidence of a man, and in front of boys, I just felt even more embarrassed.
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
Why did I feel embarrassed hearing this? Isn't that the sort of thing someone would normally say to a girl? But my deskmate was the school's man of the year for the sporting world, so in terms of fighting, I'm afraid the study committee member may not have any chance in defeating him. This made me feel a bit relieved, and I thought about removing my deskmate's hand from my own, but when I tried pulling it out, all he did was hold onto mine even tighter!
I have no heaven. I have no god.
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
Oh right, Meng Zhaoxiong was that deskmate of mine's name, and I also forgot to mention, he was a sports committee member and sports minister of the student union at our school.
I have a hell... and the number of my devils is three.
"Crash!"
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
But, for some reason, that deskmate of mine always tried to talk to me. He... um... even though a year ha passed, I still couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. Probably because I normally kept my head down, and never looked at him eye to eye. So... all I really remember about him, was hm being a simple and good-natured boy, with a square head. His body looked fit, and was maybe part of the school basketball team.
Mr. A did not reply, his pale finger nervously grasping the pillow.
But... I didn't. Regardless of outer appearance or from a psychological perspective, I should be a man, but when all is said and done, I could never be a real man. What's more, society refers to people like me as "Ying-yang people", an in medicine, they call us "intersex". I hate both of these names.
Now, I was in trouble with people I never wanted to provoke. I was shocked out of my mind, and I knew this study committee member was usually very unruly! You would normally see him cursing at students to hand in their homework; and a while back, he got into a fight with a boy from another class over a "dream lover" incident. Although this incident gained him demerit on his record, his popularity with the girls seemed to have grown bigger! Like, what the hell was going on? Did girls prefer violent guys these days, or something? Is that why shows like Meteor Garden[1] are so popular on campus? Basically, I don't understand anything—the world changes so fast!
That hand was forceful and strong, and when Mr. A felt it enter his pants, because of the hot weather and sensitivity of his skin, the hand wriggling between his legs was just like a cold snake. It was disgusting, so disgusting... he didn't want it, didn't want it at all! The fine hairs all over his body stood on end, every muscle within him resisted, but Mr. A couldn't move at all, and could only plead weakly:
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
Mr. B's gaze fell on the water lily sitting on table. A white porcelain vase with fish-like shapes carved into its surface, was filled with trumpet like lilies. Its green fragrant leaves extended softly, providing a cool and subtle decoration for that hot summer night.
What are they going on about? I don't understand? So, with a face full of confusion, I looked at my deskmate, Meng Zhaoxiong.
Mr. B's gaze fell on the water lily sitting on table. A white porcelain vase with fish-like shapes carved into its surface, was filled with trumpet like lilies. Its green fragrant leaves extended softly, providing a cool and subtle decoration for that hot summer night.
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Whenever I was all alone in my room, I would strip off my clothes in front of the mirror, my pale naked body reflected on the shiny surface. Looking from top to bottom, was a delicate face, smooth shoulders, a flat chest, and long legs... he was indeed a boy. But... between those legs of his, was a ρenίs small enough to make someone feel ashamed. And folded over that member, that wrinkled skin... that ugly rose coloured skin... From the day I became aware of it, I detested it. I hated it because I knew there wasn't any man whose body had such a secret place and thin petal-like skin wrapping around their ρenίses, apart from me!
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
[Main Story]
Why did I feel embarrassed hearing this? Isn't that the sort of thing someone would normally say to a girl? But my deskmate was the school's man of the year for the sporting world, so in terms of fighting, I'm afraid the study committee member may not have any chance in defeating him. This made me feel a bit relieved, and I thought about removing my deskmate's hand from my own, but when I tried pulling it out, all he did was hold onto mine even tighter!
But... I didn't. Regardless of outer appearance or from a psychological perspective, I should be a man, but when all is said and done, I could never be a real man. What's more, society refers to people like me as "Ying-yang people", an in medicine, they call us "intersex". I hate both of these names.
1. Meteor Garden (2001) is a Taiwanese drama the first adaptation of the manga Boys Over Flowers (which is also the name of the Korean adaptation[2009]) There's a next adaptation made in 2018 (Chinese) and a Thai one last year. The ML is scum of earth. Google it if you want to know more. It's not BL. PS: I hate this show, every single iteration too. This is one of the two dramas I detest, and I mean—loathe. Which is amazing, given the stuff I translate and read. Here's a fked up manhwa recommendation while we're on the topic of shtty male leads and the future for this novel's MC: Hogu Ha Gyeongsu | An Easy Target. Here's the mangaupdates link, the official is on Lezhin or the high seas *wink* I shed tears while reading this, like actual tears! And it didn't make my hate list. Enjoy:)
My mouth fell open as I stared at the study committee member with his brows raised, unable to stop myself from involuntarily shrinking back. His face was... strange, he stared at me directly, a storm brewing within the dark of his eyes, it gave off the feeling he would hit me for sure! But, right then, a warm and powerful hand reached out to hold onto my own tightly, forcing me t look back in horror, to see the owner was my deskmate. I had no idea why, but his expression was gentle, then to me he said, "Xiao'A, don't worry... He won't dare do anything to you, not while I'm here."
Whenever I was all alone in my room, I would strip off my clothes in front of the mirror, my pale naked body reflected on the shiny surface. Looking from top to bottom, was a delicate face, smooth shoulders, a flat chest, and long legs... he was indeed a boy. But... between those legs of his, was a ρenίs small enough to make someone feel ashamed. And folded over that member, that wrinkled skin... that ugly rose coloured skin... From the day I became aware of it, I detested it. I hated it because I knew there wasn't any man whose body had such a secret place and thin petal-like skin wrapping around their ρenίses, apart from me!
The boy in question was the most handsome boy in our class. Even someone as out of the loop as me also knew about the girls talked about him secretly in class, and that he looks just like Andy Lau. They even say he's one of the four most handsome boys in the second grade. It's not that I wanted to listen in on their conversations, those girls just always talked way too loud! Furthermore, he was also a member of our study committee, and he speaks Mandarin incredibly well, which was why he served as the station master of the school's radio station. Plus, in addition to all this, he was very rich. Therefore, he was ordinarily a rather proud person. As sone students would say, he was as arrogant as one can get! The girls didn;t seen t think so though, as they would often say loudly whenever they saw him, "Wow! He's so freaking cool!"
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
I had no way to break free, so could only let him continue to hold my hand as I uneasily moved to see the study committee member. No matter how you looked at it, the person at fault who burned someone was me, so I then said to him, my voice timid and soft, "I'm so sorry! I-I uh... I didn't mean to do it."
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
But, regardless of whether he was arrogant, or cool, this type of outstanding guy is the type I usually tried to avoid the most. However, when the seats were assigned for out second year, I have no idea why he turned out to be the one assigned to the seat in front of me. Geez... how unlucky! More than that, there was also the strange phenomenon of the most popular boys in the class taking up the seats around me. In the beginning, I hadn't realised it, but afterwards, I noticed that even the girls were always clearly wandering around me... was this the reason?
They say everyone has a heaven, and everyone has a hell. That heaven has its god, and hell has its own devil.
CHAPTER TWO
It startled me a lot. I never—ever—took the initiative to talk to anyone, and I hated when anyone would approach me. Because of this, I was always alone, which made my homeroom teacher think I had some sort of psychological issue, to the the point where they called my parents to have them send me to a counselling. They even went out their way to introduce us t two well-known psychologists.
"There's no need for you to apologize to that kind of person!" My deskmate told me sternly, after which, he again turned to the study committee member, looking at him provocatively.
I have no heaven. I have no god.
The study committee member still said nothing, as his gaze fixed on the hand my deskmate used to hold mine. The depth of his eyes gradually condensed into pure anger... a sight I was unsure if it was solely my own imagination. To put everything simply, it seemed as though his entire body radiated sparks.
Although my body is incomplete, when you look at me from the outside, I do indeed seem like a man. Despite my lips being red an my teeth being white, this was a typical characteristic of Southern men. I wasn't a real man, but I could make myself appear to be one at the very least.
"No... B... I beg you... don't..."
Which was why I never dared go to the toilet at school. And in order to minimise the number of times I had to go, I just didn't drink any water. So, often times, I would find myself feeling thirsty, ans this led to me unconsciously licking my lips. As a result, the boy who sat next to me—my high school deskmate—had one day said to me: "Your lips are really red."
Mr. B reached out to caress Mr. A's jet black hair, stoking him from those inky locks to the white of his neck. His eyes then fell on a big bear at the head of Mr. A's bed. It was a teddy bear as tall as a person, bearing golden fur, and a butterfly shaped big bow of red silk. tied around its thick neck.
That hand was forceful and strong, and when Mr. A felt it enter his pants, because of the hot weather and sensitivity of his skin, the hand wriggling between his legs was just like a cold snake. It was disgusting, so disgusting... he didn't want it, didn't want it at all! The fine hairs all over his body stood on end, every muscle within him resisted, but Mr. A couldn't move at all, and could only plead weakly:
Mr. A:
"There's no need for you to apologize to that kind of person!" My deskmate told me sternly, after which, he again turned to the study committee member, looking at him provocatively.
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
—end of interlude—
In shock, I looked al around me, this was a self study class, there was no teacher to monitor it, so there a lot of people whispering. But at some point, without me knowing, the noisy class had grown completely silent—so silent, you could hear a pin falling to the ground!
"No... B... I beg you... don't..."
"Babe, were you waiting for us?"
CHAPTER TWO
1. Meteor Garden (2001) is a Taiwanese drama the first adaptation of the manga Boys Over Flowers (which is also the name of the Korean adaptation[2009]) There's a next adaptation made in 2018 (Chinese) and a Thai one last year. The ML is scum of earth. Google it if you want to know more. It's not BL. PS: I hate this show, every single iteration too. This is one of the two dramas I detest, and I mean—loathe. Which is amazing, given the stuff I translate and read. Here's a fked up manhwa recommendation while we're on the topic of shtty male leads and the future for this novel's MC: Hogu Ha Gyeongsu | An Easy Target. Here's the mangaupdates link, the official is on Lezhin or the high seas *wink* I shed tears while reading this, like actual tears! And it didn't make my hate list. Enjoy:)
"A, this toy was given to you by Mr. D, wasn't it? Do you like it?"
All the boys, all the girls, were holding their breaths, their gazes fluttering between me, my deskmate, and the student committee member.
The study committee member still said nothing, as his gaze fixed on the hand my deskmate used to hold mine. The depth of his eyes gradually condensed into pure anger... a sight I was unsure if it was solely my own imagination. To put everything simply, it seemed as though his entire body radiated sparks.
Mr. A still remained unspeaking, his mind pulsed, blankly thinking, B, C, D... that's three.
Mr. A remained silent.
"What?"
I did this for a while, until I ran into a difficult problem, I tried to solve for a long time, and out of frustration, I stretched my arms forward—
Yes—I am intersex, and... I'm may not entirely be a man... but, I am still a man...
Just then, the study committee member spoke, his voice dripping with a chill: "Meng Zhaoxiong, you really are despicable. Playing such a calculated trick... is just too despicable."
I've always hidden behind other people, I've always felt extremely uneasy, I've always felt incredibly suffocated... Why are they staring at me like that? I didn't do anything that bad, you know? All I did was knock own a cup of tea and burned a study committee member—that was all!
What are they going on about? I don't understand? So, with a face full of confusion, I looked at my deskmate, Meng Zhaoxiong.
Just then, the study committee member spoke, his voice dripping with a chill: "Meng Zhaoxiong, you really are despicable. Playing such a calculated trick... is just too despicable."
So, put simply, I did not talk to anyone, including my deskmate.
Who... who on earth planted this sort of twisted grass of fate for me...
The study committee member still said nothing, as his gaze fixed on the hand my deskmate used to hold mine. The depth of his eyes gradually condensed into pure anger... a sight I was unsure if it was solely my own imagination. To put everything simply, it seemed as though his entire body radiated sparks.
"Don't?"
I worked extra hard by exercising, I even secretly took testosterone. But these measures weren't much though.
Oh right, Meng Zhaoxiong was that deskmate of mine's name, and I also forgot to mention, he was a sports committee member and sports minister of the student union at our school.
Eventually, there was one time—during summer vacation lessons for the second year class. The weather hot enough to make you faint, so we had all brought our own water cups. I carefully placed my glass water bottle on my desk, but, my desk was small, and I had too many books on it too. So, in order to have enough space for my hands, I placed my cup on the upper corner of my desk. After that, I began the assignments given by the teacher.
And the performance given by my deskmate was no lesser, his gaze frigid as he stared down the other, his sharp eyes seeming to carry the same sparks. When their gazes met, the atmosphere between them seemed to have been triggered. I was left shocked to oblivion between them... as they glared at each other an occasionally stared at me. When they did this, their eyes were really strange for some reason, and I felt as though I was being drowned in a high voltage power grid...
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
But... I'm confused right now. Despicable? Who's despicable? What's despicable?
Mr. A:
"Don't?"
"No... B... I beg you... don't..."
What are they going on about? I don't understand? So, with a face full of confusion, I looked at my deskmate, Meng Zhaoxiong.
Mr. A remained silent.
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